A few of my Favorite Things

I'm playing a little blog game, courtesy of Barking Mad. The idea is to post links to your own top 5 or 10 posts.....The point? Well, to win a prize, of course, but more importantly, to help new readers (or even some old readers) find out a little bit more about the blog's author. I know sometimes when I find a blog I like, I go all the way back to the beginning and read every single post, for as Inigo told Fezzik, it is always best to go back to the beginning when you don't know what else do to. If Everyone were to play this game, the competition for the prize would be fierce, but again more importantly. then readers could get to the soft, nougat-y, perhaps even mushy, moldy and worm ridden, center of everyone...then again, I will most likely still go back to the beginning of the blogs I like, for I enjoy seeing the development and evolution, each in its own distinct way.

That said....I'm in for the prize!! The five posts that (I think) say the most about who I am are:

Hope
Ode to Alone
My Sermon For Today
Chica Remembered
My Favorite Commercial

There are others in which I am more eloquent, funnier, pithier, far more intelligent, and in some cases, a better speller, umm, I mean a more accurate typist - but these are the five that paint my general outlines.....

Read the rules and enter your own self by clicking the link above!

Irish Gumbo Nailed it

Irish Gumbo found the words to express the noise in my head......Read this

I am still wondering how he got in there with all the other stuff that crams every nook and cranny, and managed to pick out all the right words to verbalize how this world makes me feel.....

Song

Another of my favorite poems, Song by Adrienne Rich, followed by my new interpretation

You're wondering if I'm lonely:
OK then, yes, I'm lonely
as a plane rides lonely and level
on its radio beam, aiming
across the Rockies
for the blue-strung aisles
of an airfield on the ocean.

You want to ask, am I lonely?
Well, of course, lonely
as a woman driving across country
day after day, leaving behind
mile after mile
little towns she might have stopped
and lived and died in, lonel

If I'm lonely
it must be the loneliness
of waking first, of breathing
dawn's first cold breath on the city
of being the one awake
in a house wrapped in sleep

If I'm lonely
it's with the rowboat ice-fast on the shore
in the last red light of the year
that knows what it is, that knows it's neither
ice nor mud nor winter light
but wood, with a gift for burning.

When I first read this poem, I thought it was sad, about being alone and lonely. AR wrote this poem a year after her divorce and several years before she came "out." Some critiques think it IS about isolation because of how many times repeats the word "lonely." The frozen water, the house wrapped in sleep, the cold breath of dawn, mile after mile....all these images that conjure up a frozen wasteland of a sad and useless life.

When I tried to do this piece 20 years ago, it was a miserable failure. I could never understand why I couldn't give the piece the proper treatment...I was good at going for the melancholy, but I just couldn't reach the proper feeling of isolation.

After reading it again today, I realize maybe it is not so much just a "sad poem about being lonely," but rather, a celebration of being alone. And THAT speaks to me now. The plane is not lonely in the chilly sky...it is filled with life and promise and hope and it is headed to a beautiful place, headed for the ocean breezes and sandy beaches. I sat on a plane flying west and watched the sunset...the colors changing, the landscape evolving and the empty sky not really so empty with all the stars and clouds and the twinkling lights below.

Nor is the woman driving across the country lonely. I have sat in that driver's seat many time, and never once have I felt LONELY. There is a literal freedom in that solitude! She, and I, MIGHT have stopped, as AR writes. Or not. And perhaps rather than being trapped in one of those little towns and sucked into a lifeless marriage, she has chosen to be alone to experience more of what the world has to offer.

It is not sad to be alone in a house full of sleeping people, knowing that noise and chaos can erupt at any moment.- there is a bit of a thrill to be the first one up, sometimes - perhaps Christmas morning...hushed and quiet, you can hear the clock tick, as you enjoy a peaceful cup of coffee, knowing you won't hear the clock tick again the rest of the day....

Yes, yes, I know I am putting my own interpretation on Adrienne Rich's piece, and she was feeling badly when she wrote it about not following the expected and more traditional female path of getting married and settling down, and whatever else she was conflicted about, but isn't that the point of poetry? To evoke something in the reader/speaker and cause an emotion to be felt? Besides, I am an actor, I take words and use them to create a feeling, an emotion, a reality, if possible. And it isn't always the author's intentions that actors convey, as much as the author and playwright hope. We always color the words with our own experiences and interpretations and bring OUR lives to the words. When I did this piece at 26, I hadn't been the lonely of which the author speaks, and certainly couldn't tap into the pain she was writing about. Interestingly, I found an article about AR by, novelist Kristy Gunn. She had this to say about AR's writing in general, but I think it particularly applies to Song:

It is dangerous, Rich is saying to be a woman in the world, and to be alert to that world. We are dangerous to men when we see ourselves this way, we are dangerous to ourselves. But through that experimentation with danger comes strength, and new ways forward.

And NOW, as a more grown up person, with more time on Earth, I have been lonely, and I have been alone, and I have survived both. I have driven and flown across the country and around the world with freedom and abandon, and I have sat in empty houses full of sleeping people, and I have sat in empty houses all alone.

I have been the frozen vessel, and I am ready to burst into flames.....

Extremities

My life is about extremes.....frantically busy one month and dead lethargy the next. Full on gym/exercise/early rise routine one week, blink and I am a sloth like, chocolate swilling, sleep til noon kinda gal.....On Monday, I trudged through an icy Central Park with heavy black shoes, a long, black wool coat, a scarf, mittens and a hat, lugging an overnight bag and today, I got sun burnt at the park in Tucson 'cuz I wore shorts and a t-shirt and no sun screen went I went for a little jog!

As I was unpacking, and doing laundry (so I can leave again next week), I contemplated this volatility which even extends to my so-called "love life" and wondered if perhaps I had created some kind of monster within myself. It has been 2 1/2 years since my last male relationship, and I ponder if this exile has anything to do with my affinity for extremes....I mean, I have HAD me some BIG FUN, but generally I can sum it up my love life one way:




Yeah, that's it...a big blank empty place. And I swing in my emotions about that...I am UP, and I say to myself, I don't mind, no butt-dunking in the middle of the night from a toilet seat not put back down, no little black man-hairs in the sink - but then the pendulum goes down, and I wonder if it would be a good thing to have a reason to (learn to) cook and eat dinner on a regular basis, and to not work all hours of the day and night...and then I swing UP, bonking myself on the head, and say THANK GOD! I CAN SLEEP ON WHATEVER SIDE OF THE BED I WANT!! Does this make me bi-polar?

I have been told I am too picky...but I don't think that is it - and just to illustrate that for you, here is an abbreviated laundry list of some of the men I have dated over the years (and NO, I absolutely did NOT sleep with all of them, in fact most of them didn't even get a kiss good night!). Honestly, most of the men I meet aren’t chaps I want to meet my mama, let alone take back to my house. I'd be afraid I’d get to my door, and realize my judgment was no longer impaired and scream in horror til they ran away!!

There was the skinny, dairy farmer with the handlebar mustache, and the goofy soap salesman with the hot tub, the very tall, very young Danish computer programmer; the mentally challenging photographer (not mentally challengeD, though he did do his best to piss me off sometimes) who taught me to play backgammon, the pocket-protector wearing engineer, the old cat-lady rocket scientist, the Safeway produce guy; a professor at the university; the closet holy roller; the Nascar enthusiast; the fat lawyer; the spinning instructor from my gym; and the unemployed fisherman - he DID at least cook me some fine salmon. I also met the cutest gendarme on a train in France one year...he didn’t speak much English, which was OK with me. Then there was another computer geek I dated for about a month or so...he really REALLY liked me, so I knew I’d find out what was wrong with him eventually (turns out he really WAS bi-polar and was off his meds). There was Rick, the “entrepreneur,” Conrad, the perpetual “student,” Kevin, the runner, Michael in real estate, Chris in pest control, and Ed, who, since he delivered Dreyer’s ice cream, you’d think he’d be my dream man, but NOPE! When my neighbor moved, I prayed for a cute, single, straight guy to move in. I got my wish, but he was 15 years younger than me, and as much as I hate to admit it, I am NOT Demi Moore. There was Joel, a special forces unit unto himself; Mike, the professa; Frank (aka Jabba); Scott, the homeless nurse; Simon, the French adventure tour operator (oh la la); Dave, the house painter; Art, the rentacop; Shane, the musician with no sense of rhythm; and then there was Gary, the submarine engineer who I never really figured out - he was such a workaholic, I never had a chance to scare him off.

I even dated my own (male) secretary once...and YES, I did fire him first, to avoid any sense of sexual harassment (he was quitting anyway). So, NO, in case you wondered, I am NOT TOO PICKY!!!

I could write a BOOK about the men I have dated...Charmaine, look out, I could give you a real run for the money! Ya know, all I want is someone who can keep up with me without laughing hysterically or crying in frustration...is that so much to ask??? Oh, and no cats, and no World of Warcraft, please.....

OK, back to laundry...and I will catch up on my recent trip with photos soon!

back in the saddle

i am back in nyc after about 2 weeks on the road...chicago, las vegas, and boy do I wish I was home. I almost got on the wrong flight on purpose yesterday...a gate near mine was going to Tucson.....they wouldn't let me get on, though. Sigh. One more week...then I can catch up on all the blogs and catch up on my own...the last few weeks have been very busy, and fun too, and lots of family...and I sprained my shoulder, which makes airports and trains a LOT of fun, and stairs are just impossible....but, thank god for homeless guys who want dollars, ya know what I am sayin'?

anyway....hope there is someone out there still reading my blog, and who noticed I was gone....miss you guys!!

SSP

the saddest tale

You hear about things like this all the time - usually they are forwarded in a chain email and you almost always delete them, or you check them out on snopes.com to see if it is an urban legend or a hoax of some kind - like the missing kid and Disney's daughter giving you $10 for every email you forward, but folks, THIS is real! This is someone I know and have touched and was a part of my life....I am just going to post her mom's email.......

2009 has become the worst year of my life. My 17 year old daughter, Jessica, passed away last weekend. She just turned 17 on thursday the 15th. Her dad came down for her birthday and she got a cold. Friday she had a stuffy nose. Saturday she had a sore throat. Sunday she slept alot and by Sunday night she started coughing up blood. I raced her to the ER where they determined she had strep and pneumonia. Her breathing was getting worse and her oxygen saturation was in the 80's so they were going to put her on a ventilator to help when her heart stopped. It took them 35 minutes to get it started again and she was then Lifeflighted to Houston.

She never regained consciousness and passed away just after midnight. None of it makes
any sense to me. How can a healthy young teen die from strep and pneumonia. Now the doctors are telling me that there is some new virulent form of strep that attacks the whole body and kills within 24 hours. She is the second person out of 5 in this area to die from it in the past 2 weeks.

I am on medication, but I don't know how I'm going to survive this. If it weren't for my babies and my son, I know I wouldn't be here right now. Today is the first day I have been back home and seeing her everywhere in the house is too much for me. I'm trying to get through hour by hour, but I haven't slept or eaten in a week. My babies are with their dad for now, my son went back to work today. I just cry.

Hug your kids, your grandkids, tell them you love them every chance you get. I didn't get the chance to tell Jessica I loved her one last time before her heart stopped, it happened so suddenly. If your child or grandchild complains of a sore throat, take them to the doctor immediately. Both hospitals don't know if this is a new form of antibiotic resistant strep, but apparently it's new enough they are worried. Please pray for my family and for my Jessiey in heaven.

I hope you can't imagine....and if you have lost a child, my heart is broken for you....Jessica also had type 1 diabetes, but apparently the diabetes has nothing to do with her death. I met her when she was about 10 years old....she was an incredible little kid and I ache for her mom and family! So sad.......

I'm Still Here...

So the big event I have been planning for months began this morning, and I have been furiously preparing all week, which is why I am a slacker and have not read any of my favorite blogs, or updated my own.... To catch up, after the nice hotels over the weekend, I moved in with my friend CF, who just got re-married, at age 56 so she is really CR. She met M on e-harmony, in case you were wondering and he is GREAT. I met CF when I was in grad school 20+ years ago - she was a teacher at CU...loved her, and learned more useful stuff in her class than any other I ever took, One time she asked if I was interested in babysitting (she knew I was a poor grad student), so I did, and then when I moved back to Boulder a few years later, I babysat for her again. We have stayed in touch over the years and she and her family actually moved to NYC a couple months after I left in 2002....

Anyway, she has a fabulous tenement apt waaay up town and since she stays with her new husband most of the time (go figger), she let me use her place...

This place is amazing! The rooms are huge, the ceilings are high, the floors are wood, and unheard of in NYC, not only does she have a dishwasher, but she ALSO has a garbage disposal (99% of places do NOT)
Here is the Washington Heights Neighborhood - man I would LOVE to live up here!!

Aunt C (the one who lost Chica) arrived on Friday, and we moved into the Doubletree, and then last night, we hooked up with my first cousin (and also AC's niece) and we all went to Ali Baba off Bleeker Street for falafel...yummmm I am supposed to be working....more later

poor piper

Diane made a comment about poor Piper who I met in Washington Square Park the other day, and I wanted to share this cute picture of my dad's dog, Willie. He is part papillon, part pomeranian and part pit bull (or so Willie thinks). My gruff tough papa got Willie a Christmas stocking full of toys and bones and stuff, and this little sweater was in there. Once we got it on him, the poor darling just stood there, like he was scared to move. I picked him up and he whimpered...We put him outside and he just stayed right where we put him...I had to leave shortly thereafter so I don't know how it ended, but I know Willie was miserable.

Dogs aren't supposed to wear clothes, I don't think...

Home is where my squishy pillow is

Friday night I stayed at the Doubletree Guest Suites which was VERY nice!!

Saturday and Sunday I am at a Holiday Inn. The room is teensy but it has digital television with 1,000,006 channels. AND i got a free pizza from the hotel last night from Rays, which is not the BEST pizza in the city, but I like it JUST fine. AND the location can't be beat. I have loud obnoxious foreigners next door...and down the hall, and they keep running from room to room letting the stupid door slam. What is WRONG with people? Do they never stay in hotels and have no couth at ALL???

Tomorrow I am heading up town to a friend's house. My back hurts from all the walking and the HEAVY coat! not used to all these CLOTHES!!

Here are a few photos from the weekend's wanderings. This is Piper. I met her and her mum as I was walking through Washington Square Park. This is one well dressed canine! She then proceeded to take a crap RIGHT there as I was taking her picture...I am telling you, no one's got any couth anymore!

And here are nice shots of the ESB and my favorite statue in Central Park.

The Fire

Apparently it was an electrical fire in the basement between our building and the comedy club next door. It really smelled noxious, but here is a little video I shot from the street....Fascinating to watch people here. Some girl insisted she had to walk on the other side of the sidewalk...it is full of hoses and firemen and security people and she is ARGUING with the cop who wants her to just cross the street... hilarious. i love NYC....

"NYC, what is it about you? You're big, you're loud...." everybody Sing!!

Gawd, I love this place!! I have been here since Friday night and while it has been colder than a witches tit, (which is something I just don't understand...how can a witches tit be cold and how would anyone know - I mean, who in their right mind would get close enough to a witch to feel her naked breast, and then LIVE to tell the world how cold it was? I mean, seriously)...Anyway, I digress.

I arrived, on the runway and not in the river, on Friday afternoon - gorgeous clear day, with a high of 15 I think they said. I took the bus in from Newark, which is the way to go - you don't have to schlepp your suitcases up and down escalators, on and off trains - nope, you pay your fare inside the airport, walk out to the bus, where the driver takes your stuff, you get on and watch the city get closer and closer. The cell signal strength was actually stronger IN the Lincoln Tunnel than it was anywhere else above ground!

I walked through Times Square to my office, and saw my boss and our associate, Jason, then kinda moved in....I have a little plastic drawer thingee I keep my stuff in, and I take over a little corner of one office, and a desk in another...It ain't home, but it'll do for the next couple of weeks.

I did some catch up work for about an hour , while firetrucks and ambulances screeched by outside - they seemed to be right outside, but this IS Times Square so it isn't so odd to hear that ALL the time. Then the cleaning lady came in - she has been cleaning our office since I began working for the company 11 1/2 years ago, so it was nice to see her. She told me there was a fire in the comedy club next door, ohhh, I thought, some comedien was "on fire," I guess...then she got paged to come down to the lobby so she said bye. I walked out to the outer office...and could hear the fire alarm that was inaudible in the other office, so I look in the hall - filled with SMOKE!!! So I turn off my computer and grab some stuff for the night and head out to the stairs. 3 flights down, I remembered I forgot my hotel information so I had to go back up, and now I know how people die from smoke inhalation - I was PUFFING - there was just NO oxygen at all...so I get my papers, and run back down...The lobby is full of the most gorgeous fire men - no city has firemen like NYFD, I tell YOU what!! Of course, I can't stand and gawk, so I move out to the street, where there are at LEAST 10 fire trucks and all manner of ambulances and emergency vehicles. Times Square is a MESS around 730pm anyway, with all the theatre traffic on a Friday night, but add in all that?? wow - it was a major SNAFU!

I made my way across town, past Rockefeller Center to Lexington and 51st for a night at the Doubletree Metropolitan. What a nice hotel and I had a SAH-weet suite. I was upgraded to the top floor with a lovely firm king size bed, which was VERY nice, except for the annoying girls in the 2 rooms across the hall. Why people think it is ok to laugh and talk in a regular tone when you are walking down a hotel hallway is beyond me

Anyway, here is the link to the camera near my office: http://www.earthcam.com/usa/newyork/timessquare/index.php?cam=lennon. If you know my phone number, call me and let me know when you are watching and I will go down if I can. Although, I have lost my phone charger, so you may need to call me at the office...if you know my phone number, then you probably know my office number too, or know where to look for it.....

Leaving Town

Wow!! My 100th post....someone ring a bell!!

So, after Thursday morning's madcap, yet really really stupid "adventure," I managed to pull it all together. I got everything done - mailed a package out, picked up a prescription, paid my Feb. rent, filled the car with gas, packed, in one suit case and a carry on, and arranged a hotel for Friday night...nothing like last minute details, and nothing like doing them on 1 hours worth of fitful sleep. However, and I think my mama will agree, my crowning achievement is the status of my house as I leave town. I WISH I had taken pictures of the BEFORE, when I had the place looking like it had been tossed, but you can refer back to THIS POST, if you want to see what it usually looks like this time of year....or I can let you talk to my mother will confirm my slovenly life style....but here is how it left when I left Friday morning! and how it BETTER fricking look when I get home!!


Not bad, eh???

HELP HELP Au Secours! Aidez Moi....Hell....oh, never mind.....

This is a long post...sorry...And I have to ask you to promise not to laugh at me...OK I know you can't promise THAT, but have some compassion when you read this sad tale of woe and misfortune. If you read my blog (and apparently 8 of you do, plus my sister), then you know I travel a lot...and that this time of year is filled with anxiety, angst, apprehension, botheration, butterflies, cold sweat, concern, creeps, disquiet, disquietude, distress, dread, fidgets, foreboding fretfulness, fuss, jitters, jumps, misery, panic, suffering, sweat, trouble, uncertainty, unease, uneasiness>, watchfulness, willies, and worriment (thank you thesaurus.com).

Before I tell you what happened today, let's go back to 1990. I was living in Ft. Lauderdale in a not so nice part of town. I walked out one fine morning, hopped down the steps (it WAS almost 20 years ago) to get in my car and go to work, and went to my usual spot...and hmmm...my car was not there. I walked around but my Toronado was not in the parking lot! I walked back up to my apartment, went inside, and took a breath, then I left again, down the stairs to my spot...dammitalltohell, the car STILL wasn't there...No panic, just a dull thud of doom....my boss had told me I had better not be late anymore (I was usually 2 or 3 minutes late...she didn't seem to notice that I usually clocked out 30 or 45 minutes AFTER quitting time). I called 911 and they came out and took a report and I think my roommate drove me to work...and by noon or so, the cops called, and they had found my car 10 miles north, on my same street, with the ignition popped. My dad drove me up there after work and I had to pay $180 to get my poor violated car! I had a TV, a box of good pots and some costume fabric in the trunk, as well as one of those lock boxes with not too much of value in there, other than my CA drivers license, with the one awesome photo I had ever had on a license, and ALL of my grad school and most of my undergraduate tests and essays! And my gym shoes, which curiously enough they did not take...I was heart sick for my violated vehicle, and as it really was not drivable and needed a lot of work, I gave up the Grey Ghost, as we called the car, and bought another one.....They never did find out who did it..figured some kids out for a joy ride. Over time, I got used to the new car, nicknamed it, and now me and my sister tell fond tales of driving around Denver in freezing weather with no heater...

So, to today's story. I just got back from a week in Houston, then spent 5 days in Michigan, and tomorrow, I leave for 5 weeks - NYC, Chicago, and Las Vegas. I have been living out of suitcases, and the laundry hamper (well, really it is the floor covered in a miasma of clean and dirty clothes, in the middle of which sits a laundry hamper). Today I got organized, boxes have gone to fed ex, mail is forwarded, bank stuff taken care of, plants pawned off, bills up to date, milk gone, my house is approaching clean - all the usual things are rote as I have done this for 6 years now. I go to find a ring I wanted to wear to NYC - my mother gave me this ring when I graduated from college - she got it from HER grandfather and he had gotten it in trade for some tires in WWII, not a valuable ring but certainly some sentimental attachment...and the jewelry box was gone!! Huh? I look in a few places I might have moved it to with mounting dread, and then JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH, the other jewelry box on my dresser that holds earrings and bracelets is gone....I run into another room to find that the little tin I hide a stash of money in is also GONE...I look in another spot, and OH MY FUCKING GOD, the bag with my passport and my credit cards and frequent flyer cards is NOT THERE. I am breathing hard, and not from the running from room to room, let me tell you, Finally I open a drawer and sure enough, the jewelry box with my necklaces is gone.

I hadn't noticed any of this was gone as I had no need for any of the stuff in there for the last few days...not til I go get the ring do I see this very meticulous and deliberate theft of EVERYTHING I own of value. I called 911 and I am sobbing...I am trying to make a list of the things that are gone and finally the cop comes and I show him what is missing, and he gives me a form, and tells me I can touch whatever I want..I had been sitting on the floor crying since i called not wanting to mess up any more fingerprints. It's not like on CSI, he said, we won't be able to get any fingerprints, and he advises me to start hitting the pawn shops (I have never been to a pawn shop and I am not sure where there is one, and once there, how do I PROVE that something is mine and how tough will it be to prove that THIS 1908 silver dollar is MINE???). I figure someone must have come in while I was gone, and they KNEW I was gone, so they took their sweet time, not taking my crappy TV and 20 year old stereo or anything that would be hard to get rid of, but just the old coins and jewelry. He suggests perhaps someone from maintenance...I am doubtful, cuz those guys are all VERY cool and I just don't think any of them would do anything like that.

So he leaves and I call Crapinental to see what it will cost me to change my flight a few days later....$2400!!! WTF??? but he does say if I have my police report, they can probably reduce some of it - he actually sounded like he was gonna just change my flight over, but I said I needed to talk to my boss about coming in later and thanked him. Then I thought they have some credit cards and my passport AND my social security card...so I started calling my credit card companies, and got one stopped - no unusual charges, and they are over nighting a new card to me...

So I am still distraught, as you can imagine. My blood sugar is 548...normal is 70 - 110, so don't tell ME stress doesn't wreak havoc on a body...I usually have to eat a whole pizza to get it that high!! I calm down a little and a small click goes off in my head...did I HIDE it? I methodically tear my apartment APART. Drawers out, clothes strewn around, from one room to the next....I come to a closet with suitcases and plastic bins..... not in the suitcases, not in bin 1....and then the click turns into a slap across my face, as I open the other bin...winter clothes, and below that.....ALL MY MISSING CRAP!!!!! I am still sobbing, but now I am sobbing tears of HOW STUPID AM I, mixed with OH THANK GOD MY GREAT GRANDMOTHERS CAMEO NECKLACE IS STILL HERE.

I swear to you, I do NOT remember putting it away like this, and it HAD to have happened last week, between New Years Eve, when I wore the ring, and Jan 7 when I left for Michigan! As Shakespeare so succinctly put it, all's well that ends well, and I wholeheartedly agree, and I am EVER so glad I didn't change my flight (I can check in in 1 1/2 hours), and it was only 1 credit card I changed and not everything...oh my god, if this were to really happen, I would have been SO lost.

Is there a moral? Well, yes, I guess there are several. And let this be a lesson to YOU! For one, I need to keep better records of my credit cards and stuff. For two, I need to do a real inventory of my pitiful and almost valueless, but important to me nonetheless, jewelry. For three, I need to get rid of all the extra crap, so the really important stuff is easier to find. For four, now I have to put my house back together. For five, I need to take a valium AND some insulin and go to bed, but now I think I will just stay up til it is time to check in..... AND NOW I have to move it all anyway, since I told the whole fricking world where it was. Can someone remind me when I get home that is hasn't been stolen, that I just hid it really good and to please keep looking.. On the other hand, could this be the start of the end? Shall I spiral down every so awkwardly into total dementia???? shoot me now, please

So, I feel so stupid, but in the words of the great Roseanne Roseannadanna.......Never Mind...

Brrrr...I wish I had Fur!!

While the rest of the nation sits in the Great Deep Freeze of Aught Nine, I am enjoying the balmy 72 degrees, sunny, blue skies of Southern Arizona...and I better enjoy it while I can. In a mere 48 hours I will be freezing my tookus off in the Big Apple. Here are some pictures from my recent trip to Michigan:
SWWM cleaning her car off....AGAIN







And here is my only nephew with his new prize possession and me trying to fill his boats!! Ummm, I meant boots, but it came out "boats" and I think that is probably closer to what i meant. See my shoes? Both of my feet could fit in his boats...I mean boots!!

Driving down the road as the snow gently wafts down...the streets are actually like ice....watch the video to see what could happen!!

It didn't REALLY happen...my sissy is an AWESOME driver.

I think the BEST thing about my upcoming 6 week road trip is that I almost NEVER have to get in a car...and in fact won't have to drive at ALL!!! WHEEEEEE!! Here is the view from the CTA on the way to Midway last year, (This photo was taken just moments before the train lurched to a stop, sending me, ever so slightly, but ever so necessarily, medicated with 1/2 a valium, flying across the car), and a lovely photo of my favorite park outside of France....Central Park!

Our Tax Dollars Taking a Holiday

So I am finally back home, and will catch up on your blogs as soon as I can - I have missed you...but I tell ya, the next 6 weeks are HELL on earth for me, so please don't think I am ignoring you, just busy! NYC on Friday, then CHI, Las Vegas, Ft. Lauderdale and Birmingham...Laurie and Michelle - I am gonna see you I hope??

Anyway, I was at my sister's in MI this weekend. I snuck in a little trip to see her around my work conference in Saginaw. She was on the phone yesterday morning for ages, trying to navigate her way through her husband's VA benefits....or dare I really call them benefits...I am not so sure.

P. is a former SEAL, and has a couple of bad legs thanks to a parachute accident back in the 80s. Now he is even having trouble with his knees, so he got a letter approving him to see the ortho doctor of his choice in Grand Rapids...P has been seeing this doctor for several months, and before Thanksgiving the doctor wanted to give him some shot in his knee that would help with the pain I guess, but the day he was supposed to get the shot, the VA called and said, "NO, the ortho doctor can't give it to you since it is something the VA could provide..."

So P goes on, in pain, through the holidays waiting for the VA appointment. They finally called my sister's house yesterday at 9 am to tell him he had a 3pm appointment...in Battle Creek, MI (meanwhile he is at work). He needed to be on the shuttle by 10:30 am and they would put him up at the hospital for the night and then bring him back the next day. Not a problem that he has a full time JOB, and a raging blizzard is crossing Lake Michigan as we speak!

My sister tried to get the person to explain WHY he couldn't just drive 10 minutes to his ortho doctor, on his lunch hour, and get the shot, but they didn't have an answer...Then when she called back to see if he would be capable of driving himself home, if he drove himself there, they said that they didn't have the drug and so he couldn't have the appointment anyway.

I support our military, but I ask you, how much does that shuttle cost, how much gas, how much to put him up for the night AND feed him? AND if he had driven himself, they would have reimbursed his mileage at whatever the government rate is....so WHO is paying for all this?? I love my brother in law, but I think going 10 minutes to the Ortho down the road, and having private insurance (which they have) handle it, would be the more rational, economic, SANE route? Call me crazy, but....... (Crazy Butt)

It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw, I've gone to look for America

I love that Simon and Garfunkle song, don't you, and yeah, OK, I didn't really hitchhike, and it didn't take me 4 days to get here, thanks to Crapinental and my sister's Prius, but here I am in Saginaw, MI. I haven't found any poor hard working Saginaw fisherman, so perhaps I will have to head to Alaska??

Kidding...Lefty Frizzell for President....

Anyway, I am here for a conference. It is cold and dreary and the roads are icy, but I am her with my sister and we aren't arguing or fighting, though there was the scrunchy incident:

SSP: I am gonna comb my hair
SWWM (Sometimes Wicked Witch of Michigan): Good (muttering something else under her breath which I ignore)
I put my lavender velvet scrunchy (screw you, I like scrunchies - I don't care what Vogue magazine says about them), in my hair and a few minutes later she comes up to me:
SWWM: Here is your grey scrunchy
SSP: I am using the purple one
SWWM (walking away): the purple one would look better

I have learned to ignore these snipes. A little later, I was rushing to get through all my email so I could go to the open house, and have a DRINK, which I desperately needed, and once again, she mentions again how the grey one would look better. I think I sent a SCREW YOU email to my boss, by mistake.....I love my sister, but no one knows how to get a rise out of me like her....bless her heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cR34iQ1All8
I loved a girl in Saginaw, Michigan.
The daughter of a wealthy, wealthy man.
But he called me: "That son of a Saginaw fisherman."
And not good enough to claim his daughter's hand.

Now I'm up here in Alaska looking around for gold.
Like a crazy fool I'm a digging in this frozen ground, so cold.
But with each new day I pray I'll strike it rich and then,
I'll go back home and claim my love in Saginaw, Michigan.

I wrote my love in Saginaw, Michigan.
I said: "Honey, I'm a coming home, please wait for me.
"And you can tell your dad, I'm coming back a richer man
"I've hit the biggest strike in Klondyke history."

Her dad met me in Saginaw, Michigan.
He gave me a great big party with champagne.
Then he said: "Son, you're wise, young ambitious man.
"Will you sell your father-in-law your Klondyke claim?"

Now he's up there in Alaska digging in the cold, cold ground.
The greedy fool is a looking for the gold I never found.
It serves him right and no-one here is missing him.
Least of all the newly-weds of Saginaw, Michigan.

We're the happiest man and wife in Saginaw, Michigan.
He's ashamed to show his face in Saginaw, Michigan.

not so little black dress

I am looking for a little motivation to keep me focused on what I want out of the year, and I tell ya, THIS photo does it for me. I am the last person in the book of Vain, but DAMN, I am smokin' hot here. I bought this dress to replace one I had gotten my freshman year of college. I had pledged a sorority and we needed a black dress, so I went home the weekend before, and my aunt was visiting. She heard me talking to mom about the dress and then she handed me a hundred dollar bill and said go get your fancy black dress. So I did...I think the total was $98 with tax....and my mom was PISSED I had spent the whole thing! My aunt hadn't said she wanted change, ya know?? So, I wore that dress maybe once a year through college - a formal here and there...a nice dinner or something. 12 years later, I am still wearing it, but I got invited to this fancy party (the infamous CV PROM) and my mom talked me into getting a NEW black dress. She said the old one had amortized out to less than $10 a year, so I could bite the bullet and get a new one....so I did. And here I am on the first night. Didn't look so smokin' 8 hours later, in fact, bedraggled and sh*tfaced would be more appropriate descriptors.

The next year, I got a job running a theatre in Texas, and got to wear both black velvet dresses many many times on opening nights...and I even bought a PINK suit to alternate with the black...

AND, none of them fit right now...not that I have any where to wear something this nice...But this is my motivation for the year. Not only do I want to fit in this black dress, I want somewhere to go in it!!! I think that is a reasonable goal, don't you? Michelle, you will be so proud of me...I did a 5K on the treadmill last night....

Chica, remembered UPDATE!!

Chica, short for ChicaBoom, was my aunt's dear little Chihuahua. She was hit by a car December 27th and I wanted to share some thoughts and photos of this darling sweet little puppy. AND I HAVE ADDED SOME MORE PHOTOS AND SOME VIDEO!!

I've never seen anyone so attached to a dog as was Aunt C (except maybe my sister, but she is part animal and has a natural affinity to 4 legged creatures).
Anyway, Chica came into Aunt C's life about 4 years ago, if I recall correctly, by way of my "misguided" (to put it kindly) cousin. Chica was a mess, covered in fleas, wormy! AC and Uncle D took her to the vet, gave her some food and as for the worms? Well, it was Chica who wormed her way into their lives! Their older dog, Dottie the deaf Dalmation, was wary and disdainful at first, and then merely tolerant, but finally even the old dog let Chica in.

At first, Chica went everywhere with AC. She had her own carry case, but in the car, she usually sat in AC's lap. In the stores, Chica got tucked under a shirt. She was cute and little, but beyond that, she was a talented and smart dog, and not at all YAPPY like little dogs are so wont to be! Chica looked like a meer cat when she sat up on her back legs for a treat. In the photo, it is Chica eying AC's hand - hoping for a treat. Willie, the white dog, could care less about stupid pet tricks. Chica was a dancing fool, and loved to stretch on the carpet with AC. She was a hilarious dog - the way she would look at you with all this expectation, and then when you gave her no response, she'd lay her ears back. Or how she would greet me, by coming up to me and laying down on her back, cuz she knew I was a belly rubber! She'd burrow all the way down under the covers (in the bed of course), and loved her toys. She liked scattering them all over the floor and loved to play tug of war. her new toy this Christmas has some crinkly stuff inside it, and instead of just gnawing on it, she'd do little flea bites at it...The photo with the three dogs is Chica with her first cousins, Willie, my dad's dog and Flash, my sister's Chihuahua.
Oh, and she was SO fierce, and she'd rumble and growl if you tried to take her toy away from her, and she'd roar like a lion and jump like a gazelle if you actually wrested it away. The cutest thing she did, was when Uncle D would look at her and say, "do you have pee?" She'd start whining and barking at a super high pitch and start bouncing up and down. UD would sit there a moment longer, egging her on with, "Do you want to go outside?" Yelp yelp yelp. "Does Chica need to go pee outside?" as he is getting up and Chica is bouncing up to his waist like a jack rabbit...and as the door opens, out she went like a bullet. She'd race to the corner, then she'd raced the other direction, a little piddle here and there and back to the door.

Chica attended all the 4th of July parties and the annual Christmas Eve Bashes for the last several years, which is the only time I ever saw her, since I live ELSE where. There are always lots of little kids and little dogs underfoot (and wierd for me to be the grown up and NOT one of the ankle biters!!). Chica would get so upset at all the splashing! - she would bite at the water as it came over the edge of the pool...and with a pool full of ninety-eleven cousins, you can imagine how mad she was!! The photo of Kelly Ann is especially sweet, don't you think?

Chica and Willie liked to wrestle, but this just looks like Chica is waiting for a belly rub...






Chica on the 4th of July with AC, granddaughter K, and the baby is K's sister (it is complicated but we are a cool family). In the background is my Aunt M and my sister. Chica always enjoyed bathing.

And here is the last photo I took of Chica, a couple of days before she died, with my brother's daughter on Christmas eve.

You will be missed little Chica! You were loved by a lot of people and the world will be a sadder place without you! My heart is broken for my aunt and uncle. AC and UD had to leave on Sunday after they buried Chica in the back yard to go on a cruise, and while I am glad AC isn't sitting moping around the house, I sure hope UD kept the life preserver on her - I am sure she was pretty distraught!!

Another favorite commercial

For someone who professes not to watch a lot of TV, I sure have a lot of favorite commercials, don't I. Since I have TIVO, I am usually spared ads, but every so often a few sneak through, and I tell ya if more commercials were this funny, I might not need TIVO!

Holiday? What stinkin' holiday??

So, today is my daddy's birthday, my best friend's mom's birthday, my cousin's birthday, not to mention NEW YEARS DAY...and what am I doing? I am working. I have the extraordinary delight of being able to work from home in AZ, (instead of in the NYC office), most of the year. Unfortunately, the "busy" time for my company happens to overlap ever so inconveniently with Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and Valentine's Day, not to mention no fewer than 8 relative's birthdays and several minor bank holidays as well.
So while everyone else stresses over Christmas shopping and holiday eating and new year's resolutions, I strain to get all this paperwork and scheduling done! It all comes in between September and November, and has to be turned around before Christmas. The big shin dig that I organize every year takes place in New York, Chicago and Las Vegas, and it starts in 3 weeks, so now that all these piles are processed and scheduled and mailed out (here is a pile readyy to go to the mail box - the mail man hates me - I have to visit several boxes every time I do a drop off!), So, now it all gets put in the computer by hand, my hand, and then I have to send emails to every one of these people, 25% of whom are incapable of printing their email addresses clearly. 25% will bounce 'cuz I can't read the crappy handwriting!! The form says "please make sure you clearly indicate your email address. Is that a O or a 0...is it a 5 or an S." That doesn't seem to help. I am not old and jaded, but I have come to realize that college seniors are really really incapable of reading and following instructions. It is that generational thing, I guess. The millenials expect all the information in a couple of bullet points. Sadly, life does not come with bullet points, does it, and I guess I either have to lower my expectations (HA), or maybe get this whole thing computerized....hmmmmmmm.

I even had to work in the hotel the night me and my sister drove down to see our Brother!! Can you believe this "work station?" The chair is too low! All Hamptons and Hiltons are like this, I am sad to say!!! Why list it as an amenity when it is clearly useless. It is more comfortable to sit in bed with the hot battery in my lap!
Anyway, while the rest of you are enjoying your 4 day weekend, I am scrambling to get these all entered before Monday, so I can finish my Christmas shopping (heh heh), cuz that is when the phone will start to ring in earnest (oh, people called today wanting to know where their stuff was. I contemplated telling them I threw up on it last night, but this IS a business, even if I DO do it in my pajamas, I suppose. I pay tax on my income, so that makes it business, right?). I hit the road next week for 6 weeks...my last free weekend until mid March, and I will be sitting here at the computer....WORKING...and possibly blogging about it....who knows.