Health Care - perhaps no longer an Oxymoron in America?

Personally, I am thrilled about the vote last night...the bill still needs some tweaking, but the sea change that needs to come is one step closer to being able to happen...if the god damn partisan politicians would get off their high horses and work together.....anyway, I wrote the following to Hilary Clinton back when she was trying to spearhead reform almost 20 years ago.....

Health Care - A Contradiction of Terms

Oxymorons don't always translate. Phrases like "jumbo shrimp," "icy hot," and "young republican" are perplexing to people who don't really know our language. "Health care" is another good example of an oxymoron. Like "military intelligence," the two words are complete contradictions - opposites, in fact. They don't "care" in the "health" business, as it should be called. Insurance companies don't care, the government says it cares, but truly doesn't, and unless they're being directly affected, the general public doesn't care.

But most Americans don't have any choices when it comes to "health care." Sure, we have the option to avoid malaria-infested rain forests. It is our prerogative to stay away from India during Typhoid season, and no one really dies of the Bubonic plague anymore. We can choose to pay astronomical premiums; we can elect to stay in a dead-end job because of insurance. However, I don't remember being given the option to choose my health problems. It's not like a big Wal-mart: "Think I'll go pick me up a coupla them broken bones. And how about a serious case of mono. Throw in a couple side orders of assorted strep infections. Oh, and I love that measles look! Those spots will look super with my red silk jammies, and hey, why not splurge -it's only one life! Throw in one of those chronic illnesses. Nothing that'll kill me real quick, but something to last a life time - something expensive, but virtually invisible; something relatively painless, but something insurance companies will run from at great speed. And will you accept American Express with that order?"

God bless America. Home of the wealthy, land of the free, a nation of opportunity. America, one of the only countries in the world where you can legally have sex before you can have a drink. A country where government marching bands get more support than the National Endowment for the Arts and where trivial issues, like education and housing, get less funding that the defense budget. America: a country where the government thinks that a few randomly placed band-aids can heal serious wounds and cure disease.

Yes, I've been denied complete coverage, thanks to diabetes. I waited out the year "pre-existing clause," all the while praying nothing expensive would happen while I was insurance-less. Now that the year is up, I qualify for some coverage. I got an insulin pump. I see my doctor on a regular basis. I get my necessary tests done. And I consider myself undeniably fortunate, when compared to the millions who have no insurance. However, there is still a rider to my policy that says since I had laser treatments on my eye in the past, any claim relating to illness of the eye will be denied. Oh, if I step on a rake and poke my eyeball out, they'll cover the injury, but if I should get a sty, or glaucoma, or if a blood vessel in my retina should bleed as a result of having diabetes for 20 years (retinopathy)...forget it!

So here I am. 30 years old, in absolutely excellent health (ask my doctor), looking and feeling better than ever. To look at me, you'd never know there was a clot of blood almost totally obscuring the vision in my left eye. You may notice I have no depth perception, especially when I drive - you may notice I have more tension headaches from cloudy vision, but you won't see any problem, and before long, without proper treatment, neither will I. See, that is.

For even though I take meticulous care of myself, even though I test my own blood sugar 6 - 8 times a day, even though I watch every gram of carbohydrate, fat and protein that goes into my body - despite all these efforts, the damage is already done. It might not get worse, thanks to the new, improved (and I might add, government-approved), control. But, without additional treatment, it is likely that my eye will continue to bleed, which may someday cause my retina to detach. Then I'll really be in a bind...a 1/2 blind bind.

Of course, then I'll qualify for all kinds of government assistance - maybe even Medicaid, and I won't even have to get pregnant (yes, I was told that if I were pregnant, I would qualify for government assistance in my eye situation!) Hell, I'll even get the extra "blind" deduction on my income taxes for the rest of my miserable, dark life. Just think of all the tax payer’s dollars going to help the poor ½ blind diabetic with the pre-existing condition rider to her “health care” policy. Is this a great country or what? It really is ludicrous, when this whole disgusting scenario could’ve been avoided by simply providing medical assistance, “health care” if you will, to those who need it, rather than to those that can afford it.

I always felt so fortunate to be an American, but right now, if I were an illegal alien, rescued from a sinking rubber raft in the Caribbean, then I'd be all set!

For here in America, we help those poor unfortunates, those huddled masses, those political refugees, those who come to this great land in search of a new and better life. They are lucky. They probably don't know what an oxymoron is where they're from. I think the oxymoron is a truly American invention: "cruel kindness" "terribly nice" "health care." Those are some REAL American words.

It's a Dog's Life

I love me some puppy. I really do adore dogs...they are sweet and fun and silly and smart and such good companions and love you no matter what crazy thing you do. I come from dog "people" - everyone in my family has a dog, or dogS...there is currently Willie and Dippy and Zeus and Jazmine and Mylo and Jasper and Kricket and Sugar and L'il Bit and BoochyCoo, and until 2 weeks ago, there was Dottie...and of course there was dear little Chica. Growing up, there was Angel and John (my sister named that one....) and Blue and Leroy and Dolly and Pucci (pronounced "poochy") and Nugget and Bear and poor stupid Odie. And not one single person has a cat!!!!

What I can't fucking stand, pardon my french, is BARKING dogs. I moved from my last apartment complex cuz the neighbors let their dogs out on their patio and then they barked ALL the time - every morning I was awakened by the lovely sound of a baying HOUND who had been locked up in his crate for the day...at 5:45am. So, I moved up here to the foothills and have often commented how QUIET it is....how I just LOVE hearing the coyotes and listening to the birds in the morning. Well, it is 11:20pm for Christ's sake and the neighbor's dog has been barking for an hour!! And once he got started, the dog next door to him kicked in, and then the next one, and now there is this chorus of howls and moans and barks and yelps to wake the dead. Alto barks and tenor barks and the low rumbling bay of something large and furry. And when the fire trucks or cops go by off in the distance, the dogs whine in harmony!!!

WTF!? Do these people just put their dog outside and NOT hear them? I am over 100 feet away and I can hear them. This is wrong on SO many levels. What is WRONG with these people??? And it isn't an apartment complex - there is no office to call and complain to - it is a townhouse community. If I walk over there with a pellet gun, would anyone notice??

I actually am considering getting a dog...Mainly just to leave him outside to bark all night, but I have no one to take care of him when I go on the national tour. Wahhh...so much for my own unconditional love. Guess I will have to keep looking for it on line.

oh wait...there is a lull! It is quiet...maybe I will go try to sleep again?? Crap...they are back. That is what I get for doing spell check...

sunshine

sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
sunshine on the water looks so lovely
sunshine almost always makes me cry

that song makes me cry.....i love john denver. i wish i could paint the way he makes me feel. I used to sing this song sitting on the chair lift at Winter Park. Didn't give a dead rats ass who heard me OR what they thought.

Have you ever ridden the Looking glass chair lift at Winter Park? It is the shortest lift there, but it takes you to Butch's Breezeway and Vista Dome trail. From there you can see 360 degrees - the valleys the other mountains, Berthoud Tunnel, the highway, and if you are lucky, the blue blue blinding blue sky....inhale, feel your nose freeze together for a moment, then you exhale and it all melts again. It is hard to breathe, not just cuz of the altitude but also it is so breathtakingly beautiful. It is almost hard to tear yourself away from that perfect vision and hit the slope.

I remember skiing at Winter Park when I was a kid.....even in high school, I still passed for the 12 and under child's lift ticket - $12 sure was better than $16....I would give anything to have those days back.....I wish my blood sugar had been in better control, I am sure I would have had MUCH more fun if I wasn't always worried about peeing my pants.....

Here I am a couple years ago at a ski area in Arizona.....my skis used to be TALLER than me, and what ARE these fat wide things? what happened to my long sleek skis?? Man, times have changed....the lift ticket was like $40 too, and I KNOW Winter Park is LOTS more than that.

oh well....good memories....and as the sun streams through the blinds, I sing softly to myself.....

If I had a tale that I could tell you
I'd tell a tale sure to make you smile
if I had a wish, that I could wish for you
I'd make a wish for sunshine all the while.....

decompression

It is March, and I have that "air completely leaving my body" feeling I get every year around this time. I am back from the national tour. Perhaps it has something to do with not going up and down in the air so much? In 7 weeks, I flew Tucson - Houston - Newark - Chicago - Houston - San Francisco - Houston - LaGuardia - Houston - Tucson - Houston - Ft Lauderdale - Houston - Phoenix. I was upgraded to first class on 2 of those, and only got stranded in Houston (twice) and San Francisco for an extra night, so all in all, not a horrible travel experience!

So, now I am home, settling back into living in an actual home, with an actual bed, and not a suitcase. I have a place to cook meals and store food and do laundry. I have a closet of yarn that needs hooking and a car that needs washing, and plants that need replanting. I am back to the gym full force and have lost 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks....30 to go. It has been rainy and cold, and there is still snow up on Mt. Lemmon, but today is clear and bright - lovely day, but still coolish.

As in past years, I find myself nodding off in the armchair in the afternoons like a little old lady.....My head will start to droop, my hands will fall...and the TIVO remote will hit the tile floor, which jolts me awake. I move over to the futon couch and curl up under a blanket I made. I snuggle in for a little nap and then I feel guilty about not working enough. When I DO allow myself to fall asleep, it is fully and completely, and upon waking, I struggle to the surface of consciousness, my body still somewhere else, my hands and feet not quite working for a bit...

I tell myself I am "decompressing," but I really think it is some kind of a depression. I find myself at a loss. I feel lonely and useless and aimless without the 24/7 pressure of work. It is this time of year that i think about buying a house, getting a dog, joining e-harmony, and I cry a lot for no particular or solvable reason. This being ALONE after such being WITH so many people and having SO much to do...i feel like a giant balloon with all the air let out....all stretched out and used.... I miss my mommy and daddy and fear for my nephew and nieces, I am needy and wishy washy......

Oh, I'll get over it....Heading to Boston at the end of the month, and then Evansville in April, and the book festival is this weekend, and it is supposed to be 75 degrees next week, and my foot is almost better so maybe I can go hike in the canyon.....and life turns again.....the itchiness will subside, and the desire for a house will pass, and I will settle back down into my rut...as bumpy and pitted as it is..... welcome home....

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