assmilation

i have worn an insulin pump for 15 years now...today i added the next step in the search for a closed loop system - a sensor...supposedly it will send a message to my new pump every 5 minutes telling me what my sugar is...i have had it in 8 hours and so far the only reading i have are from the finger pokes i have had to do...supposedly i am only going to have to do at most 4 per day to calibrate this sucker...i have done close to 10 already today as i have been running high since i switched over to the new pump - this is irritating as all hell..the learning curve, not to mention the cost are just DAUNTING!!

stay tuned for more info...as if anyone besides Laurie even reads this...and she won't know what in the heck i am talking about (fortunately for her)

convoy

For some reason, this song always brings tears to my eyes....guess it is the spirit of freedom? memories of my childhood? I know Sammy loved this song when he was little. My sister wore out the tape I made her with this song....enjoy, 10-4 good buddy~~

Inspiration

Well, I gotta share......I found out about the Inspired by Diabetes Creative Expression" competition a while back and thought, "hell, I can be "creative" when i express my thoughts and feelings on diabetes," and since the format could be anything, art work, musical composition, written essay, I submitted something I had written for a JDRF talk I had just given.

Today, I got a fed ex delivery from an unknown person...It was pretty heavy, and I am thinking, someone is finally sending me one of those heads I often command be chopped off, and yet they never are (dammitohell). I open it up to find a gorgeous glass trophy and a letter letting me know I had won second place in this NATIONAL competition!!

Apparently a $500 donation has been made in my name to the American Diabetes Assoc., in support of youth diabetes summer camps and I have been entered in the International competition that will happen sometime this month. I love the reaction and response my words bring forth in my annual christmas letters and the various rants I write, and now, to be recognized by Eli Lilly and the ADA, totally impartial and not obligated to love me in any way - well, it just feels really good...

Geez, I am actually crying with happiness - I mean how often does THAT happen in regards to diabetes??

eyes

Window to the soul.....I can't stand it when people won't look at me when they talk to me. Is there something you'd RATHER be looking at? there was a time there I thought I was going to be blind, (diabetes sucks, but modern technology is truly a miracle), I'd look in the mirror and try to imagine NOT seeing my eyes...or anything...every morning when I go outside and put on my glasses and those amazing mountains sharpen up, I get a little rush! I'd rather be deaf than blind. How about you?

little black hairs

I guess in one respect, it is a good thing K was out of town, but i still have this burning urge to slap him. He knows I wouldn't, or couldn't, be that irrational in public...but he also KNOWS the craving would be there....on the other hand, I am grateful to him for stirring up that ire...made me realize that, while I may not have children to love me or take care of me when i get old, I have had an incredible life....and I have all intentions of continuing to have fun and find contentment...and my sister's children love and adore me!! I do not believe I need a man, or children, to complete me or make my life full....and I almost pity women who feel that way. Yes, I get sad sometimes when I get to hold a sweet-smelling, wiggling little person, knowing I won't have one of my own, but that is encoded into our DNA...if women didn't have genetic, intuitive longings or urges for children, do you think they would put up with the stinky socks on the couch, those little black hairs in the sink and the mental abuse that goes on so often? I think NOT.

There are a few other things we tolerate men for. They can almost always get the pickle jar open, which comes in especially handy, I would imagine, if they knock us up; they aren't afraid of the big black crawly thing with 14 legs under the table; they usually have jumper cables, whereas WE might have taken that stupid "emergency kit" out to make room for the 4 boxes of stuff that will (one day) go to good will - and better still, they probably know how to use them without blowing up the car. There are a few other things men are probably better at, but I am not going to make them public knowledge....The less they know we know about them, the better off we all remain.

words

have you ever looked, i mean REALLY looked, at a page of print. Does it not ASTOUND you that no matter where you look on any page in any book (in english) that you will UNDERSTAND what the words are (you may not understand the concept or the idea), but the WORDS will POP out at you? THE CAT FECUND COMPOSE STUN SHATTER ERGO...all words you can put together in your head!!! What an amazing skill! Who invented this? who thought to put T and H together to make TH???? My reading has been slowed down lately cuz I am just amazed at how COOL this really is.