The Milk Challenge

Captain Dumbass poignantly recounted a tale of his new little boy, Finn and his most recent "spit up," and that reminded me of 4th of July last year.  

My family always gets together on the 4th in my aunt and uncle's back yard near Houston. I come from Arizona, my dad drives down from the the East Texas forest,  either my brother or my sister (and their kids) come in from MI or IN...My dad's sisters, and most of my first and second cousins from that particular branch of the family, AND all their kids, as well as various ex husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends (and the rare "partner" usually introduced as "my friend")!  Usually a screaming rabble in the pool, sometimes a bloody slide incident, 3 or 4 dogs underfoot, a few hardy souls jumping from the garage roof into the pool (though once one person does it, then all the little munchkins wanna do it too. The only rule is you have to be big enough to get yourself up the ladder), usually some sort of impromptu "talent" display, lots of delicious food, and then we all sit on the roof when the sun goes down to watch two different sets of fireworks.  

I have been attending with devout regularity since 1995, and it has really been cool watching my little cousins grow up. I imagine this is how MY aunts and uncles felt watching me and my brother and sister and first cousins when we were little.

Well, the times, they are a-changin.'  All them little third cousins are married now, and have their own children, which is fine and dandy, but some of those spouses, I tell ya, they have brought in an element that can only be described as "uncouth." Now, we are no puritan, perfect family by any means (most of them wildly profess to be Christian, and every so often one of them will erroneously ask me if I have a relationship with Christ....). 

We are definitely a red neck bunch of Cajuns, and mighty proud of it.  But these spouses...the ideas in their heads!? You have to wonder if perhaps they WERE dropped on their heads as babies, and not just disciplined with switches and belts like the rest of us!

My little third cousin C married this guy, W who seems like such a fine upstanding guy. They have made some beautiful babies, and C seems really happy (she recently had new boobs installed, so I think W is really happy too). So, last year, W, not content with the way things are decided to mix it up and introduced "The Milk Challenge"  He told us about this dumbass stunt, where you have drink a gallon of milk, and then keep it down for an hour.  Apparently, it is a real test of your manhood, like killing a deer or pulling a sword from a stone, so as we all watched in abject horror....several tried...and all failed. They all report the milk was still cold as it came back out.  Something about the Sorry about the incredibly gross, but vivid, photo. Show your children - let this be a cautionary tale for them so others don't have to suffer!!!  

I am thinking, men, what crazy nuts makes them do these things (oh yeah...crazy nuts...duhhh), when my cousin K decides SHE wants in......She drank about half, but she won't let herself throw up for some reason, so she just writhed on the grass for a long time....

kids....everywhere

I just had this huge rant about children, inspired by the children of my brother and sister, and those of two of my best friends, but I deleted it. Funnily enough, Ryan over at Pacing the Panic Room has a post on the rancor between he and his sister as children...Must be going around, huh?.  

I have no children, so I can't complain, but I am still convinced I would have made an awful good mama, and I have worked with more kinds of kids than most people can imagine, so I know some shit.  Can I just remind everyone that as early as a mere 100 years ago children were only brought into this world to work in our family business, or to work on the farms.  I read this great article in the New York Magazine that pointed out that as our lives have become easier, children have become more "precious" and the way we treat [read: coddle] them today is only because life is so much easier for us now.  100 years ago, children never got cars on their 16th birthday and never had phones and music players and fancy clothes.  And they rarely went to college! Only the truly gifted or fabulously wealthy could do it....so everyone is in financial crisis and I think I will choose to blame this ALL on children.  I don't have any, but I think my theory may be dead on.

 

I love my nieces and my nephews, but I am only in the periphery of their lives, if at all...a few days once a year, maybe a week? They don't need me, they don't remember the things I do for them, the presents I buy, and I don't know why - I remember my aunts as being such caring loving people all through my childhood, and even now, most of my aunts are my dearest friends....I don't know why I have such a burning desire to be in my siblings' childrens lives. They could care less I sometimes think, and sometimes I even think my brother and sister would prefer if I would leave them alone.

Whatever. I am feeling particularly cranky since I haven't been home since the end of June...and won't be for another week...I am in Michigan for another few days, then Chicago, then fly back to Houston to get my car and then maybe head home...Janie, if you are reading, maybe I will swing by Midland. You don't have any kids at HOME do ya????

the end

I went out yesterday morniing and the entire nest is destroyed...but no little egg shells...I am thinking some evil rat bastard of a lizard climbed up the bush and into the nest, devoured the eggs and trashed the nest. I am almost sad for the little crack ho birdie.  Survival of the fittest FER SHURE

tomorrow is my birthday. hope i don't get devoured by a lizard......

The Crack Ho is Back in Town

Hadn't seen the bird in a while...figgered she flew off in shame for leaving her unborn babies like THAT, so imagine my surprise when I went outside to water my dead bush (I thought I better, since it hasn't rained since March and probably won't again til July), and as I start spraying the dead leaves (and a few surprisingly hardy and beautiful flowers! click on this photo at left to see what i mean - seriously, NO water in 2 months!!) the bush shook to life and a bird flew up at my face.  I swatted madly, drenching myself in the process, and when I could breathe again, I noticed that little bitch had built ANOTHER damn nest on my patio...AND she had laid 2 eggs in it!

OK, the last time, she was relatively protected from the WILD in my window sill, behind the iron bars, but NOW she has precariously perched the HOME OF HER CHILDREN on the ledge of the patio. It is  a mere 3 inches wide, and somehow, she has managed to build it INTO the bush....which when watered made her home shake like it was built on the San Andreas fault.

Look, I love nature as much as the next guy, but seriously, WTF? Darwin truly knew what he was talking about when he mentioned survival of the fittest. This bird is an idiot, but she does have a bullheaded stubborn streak and a desperate will to procreate, I will give her that much....Maybe that's why I never had children.....always searching too hard for a nice safe haven to HAVE them, and never finding it, have arrived at this great age with my nest barren...

Let's see what the next few days bring. I know there is also a bunny burrowed into my patio...Although I probably flooded him out today, too.... and I someone told me they saw a rattle snake in the courtyard....I bet they just LOVE little eggs.

something borrowed...again

Auds over at Barking Mad is taking a bit of a respite, and since I am a lazy ass slacker I figured I would tag along...Just to be clear....she stole it from another blog I don't follow but which has some pretty KER-AZY shit on it.....

1. It's 2AM and you are not home. You are more than likely: well if I was 26, I would be at a gay disco on Miami Beach whooping it up.....but I ain't 26, and I am no where near Miami Beach...ahh to be young again....now if I am not home, or in a hotel on the road, you better activate my implanted homing device cuz there is NO telling where I have wandered off to!

2. What's the last thing you spent more than $100 on? My eye doctor this morning...sonuvabitch.....my retinas look like giant boobs with varicose veins. Before that, new shoes for my baby (aka my 1995 saturn)

3. What do your bank checks look like? hmmm little rectangle things...maybe tan? nothing special, and definitely FREE from the bank.

4. Where did the shirt you are currently wearing come from? Macys

5. Name something that will be on your Christmas wish list: A telescope and a propane stove.

6. What color is your toothbrush? ummm ya know, I don't think I know...oh yes, it is a Braun so it must be blue and white

7. Name something you collect and tell us about it. Patches - the kind you used to sew on back packs and denim jackets. I collect THESE instead of t-shirts from all the places I go since I was 18...much easier to tote around than the tshirts, AND they always fit!! Some day I plan to sew them on a blanket or something...I am missing a few, but I have over 200 from cities and states and countries I have visited. They are getting harder and harder to find!

8. Last restaurant you ate at. Who were you with? How was it? Bario Brewery. With a bunch of rocket scientists and aerospace experts (yawwwwnnn). The chicken quesadilla was great, but I am not a fan of diet RC.

9. Who was the last person you bought a birthday card for? bought? I don't buy cards. I MAKE cards! You want to buy one, email me!

10. What is your worst bad habit? Procrastinating and never finishing ANYTHING.

11. Name a magazine you subscribe to? Body & Soul.

12. Your favorite pizza toppings? Pepperoni, Pineapple and Jalapeno...all on the same pizza.

13. Whose number were you looking up the last time you used a phone book? Wow. man that takes me back...remember those things? gosh, I always used to check and see if my name was in there and how many people with my name there were....I can NOT remember the last time I used a phone book for its intended purpose....right now they fill an empty space in my pots and pans drawer

14. Other than family, who is the person that you love most? I am much too lazy to answer this - too much explanation would be required.

15. What is the last thing you cooked? Camping, I made THE most amazing pancakes ever known to man....

16. Name something you wouldn't want to buy used? Feminine hygiene products

17. Which shoe do you put on first? which ever one I grab first.

18. What is the last thing you remember losing? I don't think it counts, cuz I don't lose things, and I don't get lost...but this IS pretty funny in retrospect

19. What is the ugliest piece of furniture in your house? compared to what? the only matching furniture is in the bed room.....everything else has just been accumulated

20. Last thing you bought and ended up returning? I bought a flashlight, and it didn't work so I am bringing it back tomorrow! piece of CRAP!!

21. What perfume/cologne do you wear? If none, why? I like Samsara and Hypnotic Poison, but they frown on perfume at the gym, and that it the only place I go...so just a spritz of something by apothecary keeps me smelling yummy

22. Your favorite board game? Scrabble. I play with my self sometimes....

23. What was the last board game you played? see above

24. Where did your vehicle come from? The dealer - my first new car....1994...it was the first car sold for the new year...boy was I a sucker, but I think I have gotten my money's worth.

25. If a movie was made about your life what would the theme song be? "Sara Smile" by Hall and Oates.

26. You're sad, who can cheer you up easily? Generally, no one tries.....and it is better that way - I don't like being told to cheer up, or be reminded that OTHERS are worse off than me. I drag myself up or sit here and mope til I feel better...as I said, I play with myself.....

27. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? I think they were peach...I only had eyes for someone not in the wedding party.....NO...they were white with big Purple and pink and peach sashes....

28. What house cleaning chore do you hate to do the most? Dusting and cleaning the shower.

29. What is your favorite way to eat chicken? In a cheese quesadilla...

30. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is? It will be whatever I want....see #26

Memory Capturer

Sitting on the shady porch of El Tovar, the main thing I become aware of are people who don't or can't or won't, simply SEE. From the sad family in the mini van, to the child on the leash, who is tired and cranky, and resistant to moving on command. "C'mon," wheedles his mother, "we're going to get some chicken nuggets." He perks up, picks up and trots off happily.

Liam (100 yards away) announced quite proudly, "I picked up poooop!"

As I sat on my picnic table after dinner, reading, I heard soft footsteps behind me. Looking over my shoulder, I saw a deer, walking towards my camp site, sniffing here and there. Motionless, I watched her walk in, and around my tent. I could hear people from other camp sites getting excited about a LIVE DEER!!!!! and the kids were shrieking and squealing, but I stayed still and just watched her continue towards my car and around it to a particularly succulent bush. I resisted the urge to get my camera out, as I didn't want to startle her. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a little boy begin to approach, then his dad, grabbed him and held him back. The deer stopped grazing a few times and just looked at me.....and when she had had enough, she ambled through the Cry Baby camp. They were gone, so they missed it. I am sure she left Liam some fresh poop somewhere along the path.

There was a man sitting at the bus stop with a fancy camera....taking pictures of the stars, or trying to anyway, and wondering WHY he couldn't seem to get anything. I am not a photographer, but explained that his flash was useless, that his focus (despite being set to infinity) had nothing to focus on, and that the shutter wasn't staying open long enough for any star light to get in. I suggested a tripod, and a longer exposure....but then I think that is FILM photography. Can you slow the shutter speed, change the aperture and all that with a digital camera? In any event, I convinced them to go to the Star Party and look through the telescopes if they REALLY wanted to see the stars

Mmmmmm Star Party. Venus was very bright, near Gemini; Mars was just above Regulus in Leo - to see the red and the blue in close conjunction like that was neat; and Saturn was a little further along the elliptic. Bernie didn't have a star tracker, but he was the first to find it visually. The rings were clearly visible, as was Titan. My binoculars couldn't quite resolve any of the planets, sadly. My eyes are definitely in some sort of bad place....no night vision at all!

There was a guy at the Ranger Talk who remembered when there was a swimming pool at Phantom Ranch....He swam in it back in the 60s. It has since been filled in, but it was kinda neat that he was back 40 years later....

What is WRONG with these people who feel it necessary to talk during the sun set? And yes, I only sat amongst a group of people ONCE....Do I have a some grandiose, yet false, sense of priority or reverence? (I actually feel the urge to cry, pray and then applaud at sunset).

Why did the Park feel it necessary to install a cell phone tour along the rim trail and bring free wifi to the cafeteria? I am sure people asked for it, and they complied.....The place was packed with people glued to their laptops. I just do NOT get it!?

The Sound of Silence

I am a terrible conversationalist. I don't "chat." I don't like doing it on the phone and I don't do it in person. I am not the person you want to invite to come over for tea. I will sit there on your chintz sofa and dully stare at your china and wait for your phone to ring.

Maybe it is the years of forced isolation...maybe I am just really dull or stupid....or maybe I just don't CARE enough about anything. My facebook status for a while was, "I don't have CRS, I just DGF (Don't Giva Fuck)" and it is really true. I just don't have "deep thoughts" on significant subjects that I feel are worthy of discussing. I would rather sit in silence and listen to the insects and the wind, the crunch of the sand under my hands, to hear the freight train of a California Condor as he rises from the depths, than to talk about oil spills or politics, or boys or whether caffeine is the dark lord, or anything else. I would rather sit still and listen to the wind chimes, than anything on television, and I would rather lie on a picnic table under a vast ocean of blackness that silently spins around my body! I would rather swaddle my ears with big headphones and close my eyes to the world and become enveloped and surrounded by sound, than have to create meaningful sounds of my own!

The idle "chatter" of people talking about nothing confuses me. Is it because I so often HAVE no one to talk to? Or rather, no one to simply LISTEN? I am more accustomed to quiet, perhaps, more capable of being silent for long stretches than most people I know. Do your lips ever stick together when part them for the first time during the day sometime around noon to order a sandwich? Does the sound of your own voice sometimes surprise you?

Mine does.

Camping 2010

Me. at rest. Despite the crack in my forehead, I am supremely happy in this photo! The main point of the trip was to be far away from the computer, and the phone, and not missing either at all. I spent 5 days camping by myself in the Grand Canyon...although to say I was "alone" would be a stretch. There were thousands of other people there visiting, most of whom left at the end of the day. The camp site was full each night, and most of my neighbors were considerate, good campers.

As in years past, there are always the ones who just don't cut it. The ones who really should have gone to Disneyland, or stayed at the hotel, or at the very least, rented an RV and stayed in Trailer Village. Case in point were the Cry Baby contingent south west of my site with Alex, Aaron and Lily, and the Poop Picker Uppers with Liam, Willow and Sierra to the North west. Both contingents had 3 small children under 9 I am guessing, PLUS a baby. Each morning one of the babies would wake in the dawn hours and wail for a solid 10 - 15 minutes. Once the babies were awake, of course the kids got up and the parents of BOTH camps, let their little evil doers run wild through the camp site.

Liam was very fond of finding and playing with deer scat, and his sisters had a habit of riding off on their bike bicycles causing mother much stress. She would stand in her camp site and BELLOW their names. I wanted to tell her that they weren't responding cuz they had RIDDEN OFF ON THE BIKES YOU BROUGHT FOR THEM TO RIDE ON, but I didn't see the point. Alex, of the Cry Baby camp across the street, was constantly bawling about some injustice or another. One time he tried to play with the Poop Pickers and they had apparently snubbed his friendly advances and wouldn't play with him. he has a god awful habit of trudging to the bathroom, NOT on the conveniently located path that went straight there, but insisted on taking a LONG cut through the middle of MY camp site. My evil eye stare did nothing to disabuse him of this habit. They all left on Saturday, and on Sunday morning, I actually slept until 7am - what a quiet morning that was! Even the bastard ravens were quiet for a change!

This is my 5th visit, and my 4th camping trip, to the Grand Canyon, and it simply does not fail to astound me EVERY time! The first visit was with my mother, brother and sister, back in 1980. We took this grand driving tour, from Denver, to Salt Lake City, Reno, San Francisco (where our father met up with us), down the California coast, to LA (where daddy left again), then over to Flagstaff, and a mofning drive through the Grand Canyon, the Painted Desert, Four Corners, and then back to Denver. In 2006, I came with the guy I was dating for the Star Party. We broke up shortly thereafter, but I enjoyed the Star Party so much, I got my aunt to come back with me in 2007 and 2008.

Last year, I would have come, but instead, spent the whole month in Hawaii. I was back this year, even though my aunt canceled her plans a mere week ago! I toyed with the idea of not going at all, but in the end, I am very glad I did. Tomorrow I will post something a little more reflective, as i did a lot of thinking and musing and pondering and even took some notes on scraps of paper, since I forgot my journal....

The photos are nothing that spectacular, I don't have the right camera or talent to capture all those colors you see in professional photographs, but to be quite honest, the light is SO bright, it is hard to really take an honest photograph! Even my memories of the view are bleached almost colorless. The sunsets this year were nothing too spectacular, unfortunately, but the star gazing was awesome!!...Oh, and the white dirty thing is a pancake with almonds, sunflower seeds, cranberries and raisins, and a few chocolate chips. I did flip it over to cook this side too and it was incredible!

The last three were manipulated with Microsoft Picture it just for fun.

random observation at the Canyon

As I was finishing up my lovely week of solo camping, I encountered a very sad family. I had just finished my 8 minute shower (2 minutes longer than it really needs to be...couldn't they charge 50 cents less, and save some water?), and felt all squeaky clean, ready to face the long drive back home. As I am sitting in my car letting my feet dry, listening to the wind in the trees, this mini van pulls up and what I easily guessed to be the dad was yelling at the others in the car. I could tell he had tried to say these things before but no one ever HEARD him.

Kid: [whine voice] Why are we stopping HERE? This isn't the Grand Canyon!

Dad: We are just parking here and we will hike up to the rim [Dad had made an error here...the better place to park is near the market or Shrine of Ages - both completely available, free parking areas, and CLOSE to where the shuttle buses pick up]. Don't forget your water bottles

Kid: [whine voice] I didn't bring one. How come you didn't tell us to bring one???

Dad: [defensive, "told you so" tone] I told you guys we were going camping!

Wife: [had just about enough of this car trip] You never told them to bring their water bottles

Dad: Of course I told them - I know I said we were going to camp! [ahh, but did he EXPLICITLY tell the little pecker heads to bring their water bottles, AND tell them why they would need them, and how thirsty they would be without them, and how expensive and environmentally unfriendly a plastic water bottle can be?? I think NOT]

He gets out and the wife slowly gets out, neither has on a hat, neither has a fanny pack, neither has spent 2 minutes putting on sun screen....but they have water bottles. As they walk off, the kids are dawdling.

Dad: [bellowing]: Come ON!! What are you guys doing??

Kid 1 runs after them, then Kid 2, neither with hats or water bottles, and Dad bleep bleep locks car. As they walk off toward the trail to the rim, I hear them all mildly bickering back and forth. Dad trying to be energetic and excited, mom sounding tired and ignored, and the kids just being little turds..."so where IS the Grand Canyon?" "this is stupid." etc.

I roll my eyes and think how sad to come all this way and just fight about everything, and THEN to park in such an inconvenient place simply 'cuz you didn't take 5 minutes to look at the map. I drove over to the camp site office and turned in my tag, and as I was driving out, I saw them all trudging back to the car, mom screaming at dad about how he should have KNOWN that was a bad idea, and dad trying to placate her and the whiney kids!

Feeling all full of good deeds and overflowing with love for the Canyon, I turn back into the Camper Service lot and pull into a space a few spots over. I decide to pretend I was going to throw away some trash, and walk by the van. Mom is now sitting behind the wheel and I walk up, she looks SO sad and miserable. Her pretty blue eyes full of tears. I asked if I could help them out at all. No, no, she insists they are fine. Dad has gone inside apparently to talk to someone. I said, I have been here a week and if you need any help or suggestions, I will be happy to help. She doesn't look at me and says again, they are fine.

So, I go throw away my "trash" and head back to my car. I noticed they had a camping tag for just one night. They are going to set up tents and ALL that, for ONE night, and they are already at each others throats....gawd.....

I know we were that ugly to my mother and father when we were kids. I know my parents yelled at each other like that on our trips through western Canada and Colorado, and I remember a doozy of a match in a blinding thunder storm in east Texas. The pictures here are a mix...one was up to Colorado in the summer of I think 1969, which I don't remember much at all; and the other in Canada I am guessing 1971- from Calgary, we went up into the Rocky Mountains, Banff, Lake Louise, and over through British Columbia, Vancouver, down to Puget Sound and Seattle. The memories I have of that trip are as foggy as the weather was, but I see the photos and HOPE my parents had more fun than this family was having!

By the time I was in high school, mom took us on those summer trips without dad - he was too busy with work to be gone for weeks on end, and I doubt we could have taken each other for that long anyway. One summer she took us to the Grand Canyon, and I still remember that trip. Just a few hours - we drove in, saw the view from a couple of the pull outs, then drove on again to the Painted Desert.

None of my frickin' business, I KNOW, but I wish I could have told that family to be kinder to each other; to cherish the memory of going to the Grand Canyon together....there are so many things I have said and done to my family that I wish I could take back...


(all photos except one, were taken by my father with the fancy SLR Canon camera he had just got...I have it now, and need to learn how to use it properly.....Mom took the other photo and it is the only one of him and us in the whole set)

Inadvertently

The swanky new design is not what I wanted. They "ought" to give you a preview option...and then the CHOICE to go back to what you originally had......but they don't...... oh well

wordless wednesday, well, only TWO words

me....Soon

Today's Random Chance Finds

OK, I thought the NEXT Blog was a completely and total random thing. That day when all I got were the religious blogs, I figured it was just some kind of message and decided I shouldn't mess with some random chance. Today, feeling all Captain Cookish, I ventured back into the unknown and courageously clicked NEXT BLOG.

Here is what I got for my curiousity, in the order in which they appeared:

Cognos Business Intelligence Centre

> Learn FileMaker The Fun Way!
> Oracle Business Intelligence Center
> Software Engineering
> Do It Yourself Agile (which I thought was a blog about stretching - there is actually software called AGILE)
> Yuren's Info Area (this programmer takes random screen shots of his computer language. Ex:

30	// prepare to save the canvas data

31	var persist = Components.classes["@mozilla.org/embedding/browser/nsWebBrowserPersist;1"]

Yeah, this is exciting huh? The next 10 blogs were in some kind of programming language, so I clicked on Irish Gumbo's blog for a dose of something comprehensible...and hoping this was a better starting place, clicked NEXT BLOG from there...ahhh much better......

Menagerie (with photos from the beach and more)
Wychstock (which is not about witches as I had hoped, but a family with a new baby)
Lugubrious Delights (some delightful receipes, click on it if you like)

Then we were into all sorts of family blogs and personal vanity pages, such as My Lovies, Seasonal Lust, PaperCut Screams and The Grease is Rising.....

OK...enough of THAT exploration. I am going to the Canyon now to do some real seaching....Peace

fly on the wall

My favorite way to while away the time when I lived in New York was to sit in the Starbucks at Astor Place and watch the human show. All the various acts and spectacles and the intermissions and dramas and interludes and entr'actes going on around me was so worth the price of a cup of coffee. On Friday nights, they had a thee piece combo come in - some little group offered swing dancing lessons, and then they cleared away some of the tables and chairs and there was dancing...It was really all I ever needed to stay amused, bemused, and enchanted on a Friday night.

Here in Tucson, there is none of that. Starbucks is a dull, cold place, rather hospital like, with only slightly better coffee, but at least now there is free wifi. Usually I sit quietly, doing my work, although one time someone took offense to something I apparently did/said/looked....

So here I am today, just sitting here, working on the Great American Novel my Facebook status. As I sit here minding my own business, I realize a new relationship is erupting at the table next to me!. Join me as I observe the mating rituals of middle aged single people.

Our victims are both in their late 30s, and this is obviously the quintessential "non-threatening coffee date to check each other out" before further commitment is required. She has some fruffy whipped cream drink and he is drinking water...One of them is all in, and one's apparently not convinced, according to the drink choices....She is a pert, lithe cutie, with her arched back and thin shapely arms set off by her spaghetti strapped, form fitting tank top, her manicured toes and fingers wiggling seductively. He is in rather ugly madras shorts and a casual, but clean chamois-looking (probably not, cuz it is 100 degrees here today) shirt and they both have on sandals. He has a very short conservative hair cut - I am guessing he works for Raytheon or is on assignment at the base - you can tell by the hair.

He's recently moved to town from San Diego, and he is shocked at how huge this place is, and no highway system. She has been here for years and is really disparaging of how things work in Tucson, which I agree with, but she is a little more negative than I am in public. They side step around political talk - oops, he called her a radical, no he actually meant liberal, he explains....

Then they move to interests - oh travel, I love to travel, she says. I really have no desire to leave the country, he says, slamming the door shut of THAT topic. She waxes poetic about her trip to Greece, and her little day trips here and there, and her cruise. Oh wait, he went on a cruise once - oh that perks her up! Where?? Oh the Mexican Riviera, with his parents, for an anniversary trip. Oh, a short cruise from San Diego, her shoulders slump a little.

Next subject is health. She has apparently recently lost weight, and can exercise better now - Hell, she is a frickin' twig, how could she NOT work out - if I was that thin, I could bench press MYSELF!!! Yoga does nothing for her she says, (oh, you naturally bendy twisty people all say that!), but she really loves kick boxing. Now that piques his interest and he throws a few jabs towards her, surely in jest, or was there something Freudian going on here?

"Sooo, I better get home," he says. They discuss a dance class - sounds like a mutual friend who she goes to this dance class with set them up. She invites him to come to the class next Tuesday. "If I am not there, call me," he says. He's not sure he can make the lesson - so much going on that day. They exchange a nice sideways hug, and he takes the opportunity to feel how much flesh she has around the middle. Nice, he says. "Oh, my abs have always been nice," she says, "it is here," patting her ass, "where the weight's come off." I can see him thinking, I'd like to see her naked, as they leave together....

Now there are two cops in here.....I doubt they will be as interesting.....It is days like this that I miss living in New York.

Summertime and the living is EASY?

This is me, just about a year ago, on my month off...I was in in Hawaii, and you can read about it starting HERE). I went alone to house sit and take care of a bird. I rented a car, got some books on the island and spent 3 1/2 weeks almost completely alone but profoundly happy. I think i cried twice, and once was only cuz my sun burn hurt so bad.

I look forward to my annual unemployment, not with trepidation or fear, like some might face an entire month without a paycheck. I even asked for this month off! So I work an 11 month contract. No, I am not independently wealthy, I don't have a sugar daddy and I don't have alot of money saved up for some lavish vacation. I live one of them simple lives you hear about. My car is 15 years old, I rent rather than own, I don't care for designer clothing, I don't drink much and don't smoke at all. Most importantly, I have no children or pets to feed and clothe and educate and entertain, and I certainly don't have a spouse to tell me what to spend money on, and more importantly, how to spend my free time. SO, yes, I am alone and even lonely sometimes, but the ultimate point is, I have no one telling me what to do or how to live my life.

I look forward to this month, like a child looks forward to Christmas morning. It is the ichor flowing in my veins that keeps me going the other 11 months of the year.....I work my ass off for other people, for low pay; and my reward is an entire month of poverty freedom!

This year, there is no Hawaii, as JP passed away. I decided not to go to France for the month, since my foot has been bothering me. So, months ago, my aunt and I decided to resume our annual trek to the Grand Canyon. We have done this several years to coincide with the annual star party and so with much anticipation, I have been looking forward to this, planning the rest of my month around this week long trip; I have been pulling out my camping equipment, making lists, thinking about what to cook, what to do and all the other details.

And I got a call yesterday from my aunt saying she can't come. Granted, the circumstances are completely beyond her control and I hope and pray that she will be OK - of course that is my number 1 concern........but there is still this teeny tiny piece of me that is SO incredibly disappointed and sad. I have been yearning for the peace and quiet and abstusity that I find there. Believe it or not, there are places and times when you have the canyon ALL to your self, especially if you are camping

I spent all day yesterday moping around (which means, my actual last day of work will now have to be Tuesday, since I didn't get everything done that I had promised my boss). I actually slept 10 hours last night (even though the sun pours into my through the skylight beginning at 530am), and feel somewhat better.

Maybe I will go anyway...and then continue my loop up into Utah...have tent, will travel. I got a flashlight AND batteries...and even a propane stove and an air mattress! Maybe my moping was just a momentary detour....but whatever it was, it, and the 10 hours of sleep helped me feel better. Yeah, I know, everyone has their problems, and most are much worse than the minor little whiney baby stuff that makes me sad, but I don't share EVERYTHING that is going on for obvious reasons, and there are other significant forces at work. And no, I would not like to trade you. But if you have a sleeping bag, and some good binoculars, and you like star gazing, there is room in the tent next week, if you want it...

get out there and just clean it up!

I have a heart, and I have been called a tree hugger by some, but here we are, a month after the disaster, and I just don't care to hear about whose FAULT the oil spill WAS. I am sick of hearing who fucked up, and what failed and who ought to pay and do we REALLY need to drag the government into this? AS IF they need something else to PAY for. Frankly, I am tired of hearing about all the destruction and loss of jobs and dead wildlife, and how horrible it all is.
Can't we PLEASE just get PAST all that PAST stuff? Can't we just get on to the job at hand and START CLEANING IT UP??? Can our media focus on clean up efforts, of which there are quite a few? Can we begin to look forward with optimism and American ingenuity, instead of wringing our hands, gazing at the past, in wistful desperation?

probably NOT, but that is what I wish.....

Wordless Wednesday - Sonoran Desert Spring

who says this place is nothing but dust, spiders and rattlesnakes?

is there a message here?

So, just in random boredom, I have been clicking the "next blog" link at the top, and I kid you not, every one of the subsequent blogs had "jesus" or "god" or "evangelical" or "ministry" in the title in some form. How did my blog wind up in the middle of all this??

* Conversations that Matter
* Life without God is Ridiculous
* Life is Beautiful with Jesus
* Auntie Joanna's Catholic Blg
* God Whispers
* ProtoEvangel
* In the Shadow of His Hand
* The musings of a Reformed Pastor
* Forest Murmurs (the musing of a parish priest)
* The Just Shall Live by Faith
and on and on!!

ahhh EF that, I am not clicking next blog anymore...I think I am supposed to be getting some message here and I am just not going to listen....sheeesh I am even nervous about writing Fu...uh.....K on my own blog now???

Nature is Human

When I moved to my new place 10 months ago, there was an abandoned bird nest in the kitchen window. The girl who owns the place just picked up the twigs and tossed them in the bushes, warning me that the doves liked it there, and I never thought about it again.

Over the last month or so, everytime I go out the front door, I'd notice a twig or two in the window. That wiley bird was trying to set up a nest, and while I love little birdies, I don't love little birdie shit, and I sure don't want it on my front patio, so I would toss the twigs in the bushes. One day, I noticed the bird had managed to get a nest going on the 2" thick beam above my patio (the clue was al the twigs on the GROUND underneath it. I am like, "why the hell is there a pile of sticks on the ground right HERE...oh"). Smart little pecker head, she must have known I couldn't reach it and so she won that round. Sadly, one morning on my way to the gym, there was a little bird egg, all splatted to hell. I thought, OK, that is nature, survival of the fittest and all that, but maybe now the dove knows, my patio is NOT a good place to bring children into the world.

I went to Evansville last week and was gone 4 days. I came home and not only was there a nest in the kitchen window, but there was an egg. Son of a bitch...Well, that's that, right? I can't move the nest NOW...there are children involved. The next day I come out and there is ANOTHER egg. Great, shit for everyone! I should start a compost pile, right? I gave in and would surreptitiously watch the dove sit on her nest from the dark kitchen...every time I opened the door, or course she flew off, but she always came back and sat on her babies.

Last week, I noticed she was never there - no flurry of feathers when I opened the door and even when I spied on the nest from the dark kitchen, there was no mama dove, but the eggs are still there, in tact. No wild life has eaten them!

Yesterday, I mentioned it to my neighbor, and she said, "Ohhh that explains why this crazy dove keeps walking back and forth for 10 minutes every hour or so on my kitchen window ledge...."

Stupid nature! The bird was on crack and forgot where she left her kids! You'd THINK as many times as I forced her to start over, she would remember where she put the damn nest...OR MAYBE this is just a case of deadbeat dad?? Perhaps mama made the nest, laid the eggs and then said, "Yo papa, I am off for a little va-kay, you do the egg squat for a while." And then she never told him where she dropped the kids off?

So, What am I supposed to do? Move the nest and her eggs next door? I think the eggs are dead now...more than 4 days and it gets cold here at night.....poor little birdies.....