I stole this from 47 and starting over, one of my new favorite blogs (don't be jealous everyone else, you are also still my favorites!!), and I thought I would give this a shot while I am sorting all my mama-drama.
What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? walked into the grand canyon, AND back out without life support....Of course we went only about 1000 yards in. I voted for an African American. I LOST the Play in a Day Competition (I have won the last 4 years in a row) I broke two ribs walking down the sidewalk. I didn't think about sex once! (one of those things is a lie).
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't remember them, and I resolve to write them down this time so someone can chastise me severely next year.
Did anyone close to you give birth? Courtney had Landry, Candace had Maddie (she isn't "close" but the daddy is my misguided cousin), Katrina had Elijah, Cari had Lucas, Lauren had Elliott, and I think that is it for now...I got 3 or 4 friends and/or relatives who are pregnant, though so look out 2009. I am old enough to have grand children now...holy crap.
Did anyone close to you die? Real close, no, but a dear cousin, David died in September. He used to play bass guitar in the Rainbow Room at Rockefeller center. And my grandfather's last sibling, Uncle Henry, died. No more from that generation! :-( And Chica....
What countries did you spend time in this year? Surely this is a trick question. I haven't been anywhere off the continent in 4 years and I am damn miserable about it. Thanks for the salt in this nice paper cut of a wound!!
What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? A waist line? nahhh - too much work. How about some quiet time and a real vacation?? As long as we are dreaming, how about some damn peace in the world. How about 2% interest on a savings account instead of .02%. How about food for everyone??
What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Ohh fuck it, I don't want to play this silly game. I have too much too do as it is! Maybe next year.....
31 December 2008
30 December 2008
Finally, a post
ok I have buckets of blog fodder - 2,456 miles a driving, 30 cousins leaping, mama AND grandma, dual earache baby, 9 shrimp a fryin', and one dead puppy, but while I sift through it and pick out the amusing bits, and after I start the laundry, write my thank you cards, and put my house and car back together, please enjoy this last Christmas moment.............and perhaps understand why I realize that being single really just ISN'T that bad!!
20 December 2008
Christmas Time
I am leaving tomorrow and have pralines and oatmeal chocolate peanut butter drops, and hopefully some fudge for my allergic-to-nuts brother, and LOTS of home made, all natural brown sugar scrub....
Also in my trunk are going a handful of my crocheted scarves.....Ya never know when you are going to need an extra gift when you are headed to where I am going!
me, wearing an SSP original and Nora, the neato neice:
Look out Texas, here I come!!
Also in my trunk are going a handful of my crocheted scarves.....Ya never know when you are going to need an extra gift when you are headed to where I am going!
me, wearing an SSP original and Nora, the neato neice:
Look out Texas, here I come!!
19 December 2008
pralines - heaven on earth PICTURES ADDED
First of all, say it right for god's sake! It is NOT "Pee Can Pray Leen," no matter what you may have heard on the Dairy Queen commercial and I don't care how Rachel Ray or Paula Dean or any of those other hacks pronounce it. It is "Puh cawn Praw lean. " It drawls off your tongue, sweetly and stickily, so don't mangle it anymore, OK??
Now, one of my best memories of Christmas is my granny's pralines...my grandmother did the cookies, but my granny did the candy!! And oh my god, they were to die for - just melted in your mouth and she NEVER messed them up!! As a little kid, I wasn't such a fan cuz kids don't like nuts, do we? But by junior high, I salivated every time I saw pecans. Every year, she would send my dad a tin of them, and they always seemed to arrive when I wasn't home, and he spirited them away to hide in his closet or under the bed, and by the time I tracked it down, there were just buttery crumbs left at the bottom of the Collin Street Bakery tin...but even the dregs were worth it. Of course back then I had not idea how to cover with insulin for all that extra sugar and ended up feeling like utter crap for days after.
Then my granny died, and I decided to make them my ownself. I asked my mom if she had the recipe and she pulled out a file folder, and said "this is a valuable file folder. When I die, don't throw this away." What is in it, I asked. "It's not what is IN it," she said, "it's what's written ON it." And there in my granny's scratchy handwriting, is the recipe for her pralines (which I can't share with you, but, you can imagine...sugar, butter, pecans and some other stuff)
So I am a true scrooge - I am wearing a grinch t-shirt today, i have not started shopping, i have piles of work to do and I am supposed to drive to houston on sunday...BUT screw all that, I am gonna go make pralines..if they come out (and the humidity has to be right for them to set), I will post some photos...too bad they haven't perfected smell0vision yet...you would DIE!!
OK...they came out good!! I am so excited
This is what the brown sugar looked like, curiously. I don't think this is what they mean when they say "packed"
here is the sugars and something else and the butter melting nicely
starting to boil, and adding another secret ingredient
this is the hard ball stage (not to be confused with the soft ball, the stinky ball, the hairy ball, and the godawful hard crack!!
adding pecans
cooling down, just about ready to be candy
first batch cooled a little quick
2nd batch looked a little better
the pot is about to be licked clean
Now, one of my best memories of Christmas is my granny's pralines...my grandmother did the cookies, but my granny did the candy!! And oh my god, they were to die for - just melted in your mouth and she NEVER messed them up!! As a little kid, I wasn't such a fan cuz kids don't like nuts, do we? But by junior high, I salivated every time I saw pecans. Every year, she would send my dad a tin of them, and they always seemed to arrive when I wasn't home, and he spirited them away to hide in his closet or under the bed, and by the time I tracked it down, there were just buttery crumbs left at the bottom of the Collin Street Bakery tin...but even the dregs were worth it. Of course back then I had not idea how to cover with insulin for all that extra sugar and ended up feeling like utter crap for days after.
Then my granny died, and I decided to make them my ownself. I asked my mom if she had the recipe and she pulled out a file folder, and said "this is a valuable file folder. When I die, don't throw this away." What is in it, I asked. "It's not what is IN it," she said, "it's what's written ON it." And there in my granny's scratchy handwriting, is the recipe for her pralines (which I can't share with you, but, you can imagine...sugar, butter, pecans and some other stuff)
So I am a true scrooge - I am wearing a grinch t-shirt today, i have not started shopping, i have piles of work to do and I am supposed to drive to houston on sunday...BUT screw all that, I am gonna go make pralines..if they come out (and the humidity has to be right for them to set), I will post some photos...too bad they haven't perfected smell0vision yet...you would DIE!!
OK...they came out good!! I am so excited
This is what the brown sugar looked like, curiously. I don't think this is what they mean when they say "packed"
here is the sugars and something else and the butter melting nicely
starting to boil, and adding another secret ingredient
this is the hard ball stage (not to be confused with the soft ball, the stinky ball, the hairy ball, and the godawful hard crack!!
adding pecans
cooling down, just about ready to be candy
first batch cooled a little quick
2nd batch looked a little better
the pot is about to be licked clean
17 December 2008
the economy from a non economist's perspective
So, apparently, the inflation rate for November was -1.7% - the biggest drop in prices since the '40s. People that are a lot smarter than me have been debating and calculating and basically running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Most of my investments are in nice safe money markets, but I am cursing my "guy" for convincing me to put some money into mutual funds in June, and am DAMN glad I ignored his email in August to put more in.
Even with slashed prices, people just aren't spending money - prices WILL go lower, so why buy now?? People not buying stuff is why deflation is so bad. Less demand means less money in circulation, which means prices drop even more...plunging prices sound good, and in the real estate market, my dad has been warning about a significant correction for at least 4 years. With the expected continued drop in value of everything, this correction could continue for a while, making your house worth lots less than you owe. So for me, that threat, combined with my fear of bad roofs, plumbers and black mold, it is enough to keep me in my apartment. Interest rates can't get any lower, but my money is staying in CDs for the most part!
However, I have solved the crisis, if anyone wants to know. Instead of giving all that money to the banks and car dealers, why not give it to us, BUT instead of just giving it to us to do what we want, there should be strings attached. It HAS to be spent within 30 days of receipt - use it for a car payment, or a house payment or buy airplane tickets or gas or groceries, but whatever we do, we can't just save it. In fact, maybe we can't even deposit it - it would be required to counter sign it over, to the bank for a car note, or to Safeway for groceries, or to the doctor for a check up, etc. BUT, only if you have zero credit debt. If you owe so much as $20 on your credit cards, first you have to pay towards eliminating that debt.
Wouldn't Suze Orman be proud? Why not? Another incentive check surely wouldn't be enough to get most people out of debt, but if we all got say, $500, and were all forced to put it back into the economy, wouldn't that be a TRUE stimulus? I put my first stimulus check in the bank, and earned 14 cents interest on it, then last week when I went out and got some new brakes. Wouldn't it have been better, from an economics perspective, and as a true stimulus if I, and everyone else, had used that money immediately and pumped it back into the economy?
If you can explain to me why this isn't a great idea, I would love to hear it, but please be nice. I am not a economist, and I haven't played one on stage either.
Even with slashed prices, people just aren't spending money - prices WILL go lower, so why buy now?? People not buying stuff is why deflation is so bad. Less demand means less money in circulation, which means prices drop even more...plunging prices sound good, and in the real estate market, my dad has been warning about a significant correction for at least 4 years. With the expected continued drop in value of everything, this correction could continue for a while, making your house worth lots less than you owe. So for me, that threat, combined with my fear of bad roofs, plumbers and black mold, it is enough to keep me in my apartment. Interest rates can't get any lower, but my money is staying in CDs for the most part!
However, I have solved the crisis, if anyone wants to know. Instead of giving all that money to the banks and car dealers, why not give it to us, BUT instead of just giving it to us to do what we want, there should be strings attached. It HAS to be spent within 30 days of receipt - use it for a car payment, or a house payment or buy airplane tickets or gas or groceries, but whatever we do, we can't just save it. In fact, maybe we can't even deposit it - it would be required to counter sign it over, to the bank for a car note, or to Safeway for groceries, or to the doctor for a check up, etc. BUT, only if you have zero credit debt. If you owe so much as $20 on your credit cards, first you have to pay towards eliminating that debt.
Wouldn't Suze Orman be proud? Why not? Another incentive check surely wouldn't be enough to get most people out of debt, but if we all got say, $500, and were all forced to put it back into the economy, wouldn't that be a TRUE stimulus? I put my first stimulus check in the bank, and earned 14 cents interest on it, then last week when I went out and got some new brakes. Wouldn't it have been better, from an economics perspective, and as a true stimulus if I, and everyone else, had used that money immediately and pumped it back into the economy?
If you can explain to me why this isn't a great idea, I would love to hear it, but please be nice. I am not a economist, and I haven't played one on stage either.
Coke Salad - a recipe from a NON cook
I wrote about Christmas at my grannies and Michelle J asked about the coke salad. No, that is not missing a comma...it is a real, perhaps, Southern, delicacy, shared with friends and relatives at holidays, funerals, weddings and on the 4th of July....just cuz it is red, doesn't mean it only belongs to Christmas!! This recipe comes from auntie C, who doctored in the lowered carb version
1 can of cherries in water
1 c sugar (but she usually uses less)
6 oz of diet coke
1 c chopped pecans
2 packages of sugar free cherry jello
1 c boiling water
Combine cherries, sugar, boil. strain the liquid into the jello, add the boiling water and stir to dissolve. Add coke. The recipe says let it cool and start to set, but Aunt C just adds the cherries and pecans in immediately. Chill and serve. You can put a dollop of whipped cream on top
You can also use real coke, real jello and all the sugar, but why?
1 can of cherries in water
1 c sugar (but she usually uses less)
6 oz of diet coke
1 c chopped pecans
2 packages of sugar free cherry jello
1 c boiling water
Combine cherries, sugar, boil. strain the liquid into the jello, add the boiling water and stir to dissolve. Add coke. The recipe says let it cool and start to set, but Aunt C just adds the cherries and pecans in immediately. Chill and serve. You can put a dollop of whipped cream on top
You can also use real coke, real jello and all the sugar, but why?
16 December 2008
sick
Well, the impossible has happened. I got a virus from my computer...thanks Diane, for sending the snot and fever over to Tucson. Of course, I am ever so glad it is THIS week while I am buried with work (see photo) and have yet to start Christmas shopping, not to mention beating the three week advance purchase for my January trip to Michigan, and then there are the three, count em, three holiday "get togethers." (not parties, everyone insists, but I still have to brush my hair AND teeth and put a real bra on instead of the sports one I have been wearing for 4 days). NEXT week, it would suck to be sick, as I have to drive 1,108 miles to Houston, be all smiley and joyful and pleasant with my family, then drive back. I am SO grateful for many things, my friends, my job, my purple car, and right now I am just over the moon that over the counter Nyquil can STILL knock me out almost as solidly as a Vicidin! Unfortunately, I can't take it right now, due to the aforementioned pile 'o crap I need to finish....oh, and I have to go to a dinner meeting tonight.
How come the holidays have to coincide with the busiest, most frustrating time of the year for me? I love my job I love my job I love my job, oh and as for grateful, I am SO grateful I don't have a boyfriend I have to be nice to right now! Present? you want a damn present, you bastard How about I bury you in paper and set you, and it, on fire. Who needs a tree, I got all the bright lights I need. I admit that getting laid might be the panacea I need, but you know how hard it is to breathe when you are face down in a pillow, and given my current snot situation, I guess it is just as well....better luck next year...
13 December 2008
My favorite commerical
I have TIVO so I don't watch commercials in general, but this one came on line...and I shamelessly proclaim that I LOVE IT!!! Turn your speakers on and smile and prepare to sing along :-)
10 December 2008
Christmas Memories
Trying to get in the mood, and failing miserably, so I was just trying to remember some of the random things I LIKE about the holidays.....
* I know people who open all their presents on Christmas eve. We did that once, after my parents got divorce. We all went over to mom's and I hated it. The next morning just sucks...and it is NOT the presents! It is the whole "Christmas Morning Package!" The anticipation, the energy and everything...eating breakfast after eating the candy in the stocking....sitting in the pile of paper and bows...just looking at everyone looking all happy. So no more Christmas eve frenzy...
* Do you like egg not? As long as I don't thing about what it is I am drinking, or look at the fat content, I am fine. I like to put it in the freezer until it is really really cold...almost slushy. It is just soooo bad for you and I know that without looking at the label - sigh - and cookies. Real Christmas cookies, real ITALIAN Christmas cookies. Man, my grandma used to make some amazing cookies, recipes she got from HER mom who was the first child in her family not born in Italy, so you know these were some good recipes! When I was a little kid, we thought they were gross - who wants cookies with almonds and dates and fig??? But there was a brief window when I found those so alluring, and so much better than Oreos and Nutter Butters! Sadly, as grandma has gotten older, she has lost her touch with the cookies, but we still choke them down, so as not to hurt her feelings, and in memory of my greatgrandma - the powdered sugar covered, shortbread ones with the almonds and the sugar cookies with the little silver balls, the exquisite little fig and pecan tarts, mmmm, just thinking about them, makes me hungry!
* I remember the big Christmas shindigs when I was a little little girl, at my afore-mentioned great grandma's house in Louisiana. All my mom's cousins and aunts and uncles...a table with about 350 people (not really - just seemed that many), and a special table for the little kids too...at my dad's mom's house, it was more a HUGE pot luck. People would show up with dishes and load them on every flat surface in the house - table and counters and on top of the piano and TV. Pralines, and apple cake, and coke salad and ham and turkey, and riceroastandgravy, and rolls and corn bread and divinity and mashed potatoes and dirty rice and green bean casserole and chicken and dumplings....everyone just kept eating cuz there was never gonna be room in the fridge for left overs!
* When I was a little girl, me and my brother and sister had to wait on Christmas morning until mom and dad went in to the tree first, to make sure Santa had come. Me and my sister lived downstairs when I was in High School, and we had a separate phone line down there. About 6am, we called the upstairs line...we could hear it ringing and FINALLY they picked up. Can we come up yet? NO came the answer. My little brother, who slept in the room above me, was pounding on the floor. My sister was banging on the wall. Finally they let us up around 6:45.
* When we were little, Santa came while we were sleeping...all the presents and toys were there in a big heap by each person's stocking...the cookies we left the night before were gone. Of course, there were also all the wrapped presents from grandma and the cousins, but what mom and dad gave us, came via santa claus...I liked that, and I suppose it is one of the things I miss about not having children. I think my sister does it for her kids, but her husband likes to have everything wrapped up...I just loved that burst of amazement when you see that pile of goodies! NOT that we had HUGE piles, my mom was just an artful present placer!
I have no idea how they accomplished some of those Santa visits...we were living in Canada one time, and we left to go to Texas for the holidays. We had Christmas there, though Santa didn't come (we were worried he couldn't find us!!). But when we got home to Canada, sure enough, Santa had been to our house!! I do NOW remember mama making us wait outside while Daddy went in to "make sure the lights were on and the house wasn't too cold for us." I can just imagine him throwing stuff around - I am sure I got my sisters doll and she got my pile of books.....
More later...there is much more... and I am still not quite in the mood - just too much work to do, as always.....
* I know people who open all their presents on Christmas eve. We did that once, after my parents got divorce. We all went over to mom's and I hated it. The next morning just sucks...and it is NOT the presents! It is the whole "Christmas Morning Package!" The anticipation, the energy and everything...eating breakfast after eating the candy in the stocking....sitting in the pile of paper and bows...just looking at everyone looking all happy. So no more Christmas eve frenzy...
* Do you like egg not? As long as I don't thing about what it is I am drinking, or look at the fat content, I am fine. I like to put it in the freezer until it is really really cold...almost slushy. It is just soooo bad for you and I know that without looking at the label - sigh - and cookies. Real Christmas cookies, real ITALIAN Christmas cookies. Man, my grandma used to make some amazing cookies, recipes she got from HER mom who was the first child in her family not born in Italy, so you know these were some good recipes! When I was a little kid, we thought they were gross - who wants cookies with almonds and dates and fig??? But there was a brief window when I found those so alluring, and so much better than Oreos and Nutter Butters! Sadly, as grandma has gotten older, she has lost her touch with the cookies, but we still choke them down, so as not to hurt her feelings, and in memory of my greatgrandma - the powdered sugar covered, shortbread ones with the almonds and the sugar cookies with the little silver balls, the exquisite little fig and pecan tarts, mmmm, just thinking about them, makes me hungry!
* I remember the big Christmas shindigs when I was a little little girl, at my afore-mentioned great grandma's house in Louisiana. All my mom's cousins and aunts and uncles...a table with about 350 people (not really - just seemed that many), and a special table for the little kids too...at my dad's mom's house, it was more a HUGE pot luck. People would show up with dishes and load them on every flat surface in the house - table and counters and on top of the piano and TV. Pralines, and apple cake, and coke salad and ham and turkey, and riceroastandgravy, and rolls and corn bread and divinity and mashed potatoes and dirty rice and green bean casserole and chicken and dumplings....everyone just kept eating cuz there was never gonna be room in the fridge for left overs!
* When I was a little girl, me and my brother and sister had to wait on Christmas morning until mom and dad went in to the tree first, to make sure Santa had come. Me and my sister lived downstairs when I was in High School, and we had a separate phone line down there. About 6am, we called the upstairs line...we could hear it ringing and FINALLY they picked up. Can we come up yet? NO came the answer. My little brother, who slept in the room above me, was pounding on the floor. My sister was banging on the wall. Finally they let us up around 6:45.
* When we were little, Santa came while we were sleeping...all the presents and toys were there in a big heap by each person's stocking...the cookies we left the night before were gone. Of course, there were also all the wrapped presents from grandma and the cousins, but what mom and dad gave us, came via santa claus...I liked that, and I suppose it is one of the things I miss about not having children. I think my sister does it for her kids, but her husband likes to have everything wrapped up...I just loved that burst of amazement when you see that pile of goodies! NOT that we had HUGE piles, my mom was just an artful present placer!
I have no idea how they accomplished some of those Santa visits...we were living in Canada one time, and we left to go to Texas for the holidays. We had Christmas there, though Santa didn't come (we were worried he couldn't find us!!). But when we got home to Canada, sure enough, Santa had been to our house!! I do NOW remember mama making us wait outside while Daddy went in to "make sure the lights were on and the house wasn't too cold for us." I can just imagine him throwing stuff around - I am sure I got my sisters doll and she got my pile of books.....
More later...there is much more... and I am still not quite in the mood - just too much work to do, as always.....
08 December 2008
Quote This
one of my new favorite blogs has this amazing quote, so I hope Diane doesn't mind that I am sharing it here.....
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey…
Kenji Miyazawa
He was a poet and author of children's literature in Japan about 100 years ago....I don't know how I missed him, as this one quote could form the basis for my world in general, but this glaring gap in my education will soon be addressed
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey…
Kenji Miyazawa
He was a poet and author of children's literature in Japan about 100 years ago....I don't know how I missed him, as this one quote could form the basis for my world in general, but this glaring gap in my education will soon be addressed
if he was so great, why am I still single?
Taking a cue from Charmaine, and feeling completely at a loss for words, I want to share something I wrote ages ago...I don't dwell on the past, thought I am a Cancer, with my moon sign in Virgo, so I think that explains some of my sentimental melacholy.....but I STILL wonder if I could have done better!My last boyfriend WAS a wonderful, smart, kind, generous person in so many ways (and really cute to boot), and I didn't want to "change" him. I will sum it up for you by simply asking, how many times would I have to say "please take your shoes off when you come in. I'd rather not track the filth from outside, inside onto my floor," before you'd starting doing it? Most of my girl friends would say once. A couple of my more evolved male friends would too. But for Steve, it never clicked in.
I needed to take an allergy pill to go to his cat-fur-infested house, and while the pill enabled me to continue breathing, it also knocked me OUT, but since I was also taking THE Pill, which, while it kept me from getting knocked UP, it had the unfortunate side effect of giving me insomnia, despite the allergy pill, BUT since I NEED sleep, I sometimes would take an Ambien, ALL of which f*&ked big time with my blood sugar and my hormones. I did all this for him, and yet, he couldn't remember to take his shoes off at my house? Maybe I should have added Valium to the mix, and then I just wouldn't have cared.
He loves me, he'd say, tossing it off casually, like "see you later," and as much as I knew he "cared" whether I was dead of alive, I just have to wonder, WHY can't he just take his damn shoes off??? I organized his garage, I cleaned his house, I brushed his dog (not to be nice to the dog, but the more hair I brushed off outside, the less I would find in the house later on). Not cuz I WANTED something (other than to be able to breathe), but because it needed to be done. I may be a pack rat, but I am CLEAN pack rat. I am the child my mother had to BEG to go play in the dirt, so all the other mothers wouldn't think I was strange. Why couldn't he just wipe the cat tracks off the counter when he knew I was coming over? Not ALL the time, and god knows I wouldn't know it he had DISINFECTED it or not, but why not just HIDE it, ya know? I just didn't feel the same about cat hair on my pants, I didn't appreciate a dog's cold nose in my crotch, and I couldn't just fall in bed without brushing my teeth. It made me squirm when he would fondle his pussies and then reach out to touch mine!! Did he not remember that when his cat dander-covered hands touch my face, it gets red and itchy?
Was I a freak, a germ-phobe? i dunno, maybe...I am allergic to cats. Did this make us incompatible?
I wanted to love wholly, honestly, completely, and always be at ease....but he made me a wreck, physically and mentally...perhaps I just undermined it for myself. I knew something was amiss when I realized he thought "intimacy" meant he could tell me all his kinky proclivities, while silly me, I just wanted to be able to be open and honest and have complete communication in heart and mind.....
My first grade teacher was right when she told my mom that I worked better alone...
06 December 2008
A Guy
This is why I don't rent a car when I go visit my mom in Florida....
A man died tonight. No one famous, you never heard of him. You didn't know anything about him, in fact, he couldve just been a tourist from out of state. He was just some guy who made a miscalculation on the highway. Of course, with all the construction, he might have been confused. He might have been a little disoriented by the cryptic road signs and distracted by the construction equipment everywhere. Maybe he was being overly careful, but to him, blinking lights meant "proceed with caution." It was a dark stretch of road, the lane markers were ambiguous, and there was a lot of traffic - angry traffic. Cars entering the highway jostled for position, each determined to gain as much ground as possible. Even though, they didn't have the right-of-way, they were sneaking around on the shoulder. When they were out of shoulder room, these cheaters were forced back onto the congested roadway, but they didn't want to merely "merge." They wanted to pass as many cars as possible before they were obliged to get back in line. Meanwhile those with the right-of-way, incensed by the blatant audacity, weren't willing to give up any advantage without a fight. In a kinder, gentler nation, drivers in the right lane alternate with the merging traffic in a "share-the-road" sort of courtesy. Not so on the roads of
The man who died tonight had always been a defensive driver; he knew driving on the highway could be a traumatic ordeal, but he accepted the fact and tried to keep his cool. He didn't turn into Mr. Hyde when he got behind the wheel. He always allowed a few of those pushy shoulder-drivers to cut in front of him, hoping someday, someone would do the same for him. He always left a little extra room between the front of his Toyota and the car ahead - why not? What's another 15 feet? But on this night, unbeknownst to the man, he was infuriating the guy in the white van behind him. Every time another shoulder-pusher was allowed in, the angrier the van driver became.
As the man who died drove, he periodically placed his hand on the white box next to him. Looking ahead, he saw brake lights, so he took his foot off the accelerator and placed it gently on the brake. Just slightly - not enough to slow down, as he still had a reasonable amount of room in front of him, but enough to make his brake lights flash. This was the final straw for the van driver. For some reason, he saw those brake lights as a challenge. For some reason, he sped up. As he did, the man in the Toyota, transfixed by horror and disbelief, watched as the headlights behind him closed in on his rearview mirror. Like an animal caught on a deserted country road at night, body frozen in the heat of the murderous headlights, the man could not look away.
His eyes were locked on those of the man in the van behind him, so he didn't see the one last shoulder-driver. Speed Racer in a red Chevy 2-ton hurled past him, swerving into the careful space reserved in front of the Toyota. Time slowed, and then stopped as the man pulled his eyes away from the rearview mirror just in time to read the bumper sticker on the truck in front of him. IF YOU'RE CLOSE ENOUGH TO READ THIS, YOU'RE TOO CLOSE - BACK OFF. He tried. Honest to God, he tried. Both hands gripping the steering wheel, his foot slammed the brake to the floor. The box on the seat next to him flew to the floor and as he reached out to catch it, the lights on the van overtook the Toyota; consumed it, and as one, they plowed into the back of the red truck.
That's when traffic really snarled up. Horns blared, angry voices shouted obscenities, sirens echoed under the bridges. Time resumed its sodden pace, and everyone was late. "Damn idiots" and obscenities galore shouted as they drove past the heap of twisted metal.
A man died tonight. No one you knew. You never heard his name and his passing will have no effect on your life. But next time you're caught in traffic and your car is overheating, on your way to the dentist; next time you're late picking up your mother from the airport; next time you just want to get home after another rotten day at the job - next time, think about the man who died tonight. His car won't overheat anymore. In fact, there aren't even enough pieces of it left to send to the junk yard. His last contact with his dentist will be via the county coroner, who will request his records for identification purposes. His mother will have to take the Super Shuttle next time.
The man who died had friends, a family, but he won't be home for dinner tonight. Maybe he was married, maybe he had children. His family will wonder what's happened, where's daddy...and then the phone rings. Someone will have to clean his desk out at work, and a want ad will have to be run to replace him, jury selection will have to begin again to fill his spot, someone else will have to return those overdue library books and pay that parking fine. Hopefully, those tickets to
So, the next time you're in such a rush and feel the need to ignore the rules of the road; next time you feel like screaming and pressing both hands on your horn in frustration; next time you tail-gate the person in front of you, as if that will speed traffic up, next time you flip off the police cars and ambulances clogging up the highway, remember the man who died tonight ...and thank your lucky stars it wasn't you or someone you love...this time.
04 December 2008
Gay Rights from a Straight Perspective
oh, this is long...please read it all....your thoughts are most appreciated!!
My basic creed is Live and Let Live. In other words, everyone is entitled to their opinion , no matter how stupid or opposite of my own it may be. Just 'cuz people have different opinions should not be the cause of the world's problems, but as you well know, it usually is. I have plenty of friends, good ones, who have different religious and political views than I, yet we are truly friends. I can have a discussion, debate even, over tough topics, and that ability to exchange is one of the things I find appealing about actually getting dressed and leaving the house. Usually interacting with other people just makes me want to crawl under the covers!
However, a certain amount of openness and flexibility are required when dealing with people...and I suppose I expect too much for people to actually Live and Let Live, like me. To preface this post, I recently saw Keith Olbermann's fabulous commentary on CA's Prop 8 - Here is a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HpTBF6EfxY
So, I met a guy on line...he seemed normal, we had a couple of nice chats on line, seemed to have some things in common and so we decided to meet for coffee - heck he even sprung for my iced coffee! But in the ensuing conversation, he said something that I considered remarkably ignorant, and insensitive, not to mention stupid. I bit my tongue, cuz I try not to discuss these things on a first meeting....but he went on about how horrible it was for gays to marry and adopt children and MORE.....meanwhile, my gay office-mate's partner had just had her anonymous sperm-donor made baby, and my other office mate, was actually in San Francisco tying the knot while it was still legal.
The guy said it wasn't that he was paranoid or homophobic (obviously....); that he simply saw homosexuality as wrong and immoral, based on his beliefs and world view and religious upbringing, and ya know, that is fine. I never would have made him watch the Pride Parade or have a homosexual experience. I personally think onions, cauliflower and decaf coffee are offenses to god and man - sheer unmitigated forces of evil, wrought on man like the boils and locusts of the plague; and I think they should be banned from all restaurants and grocery stores, and that is my opinion and I would hope you remember that if you ever invite me for dinner..... Not quite the same things, of course, but you get my point - he didn't.
Does anyone think, really, that gay people are trying to take anything something away from straight people? Don't all people just want to be treated justly, subjected to the same laws and eligible for the same rights and privileges? It is more than just the right to be recognized by the state such as domestic partnership and civil union, which this fellow proudly stated he supported...but NOT marriage. I don't think this country was founded on anything related to whether a person was gay or not - or married or single or widowed or anything else like that. It was based on freedoms of religion and speech, and all that other stuff that got put into the constitution before we started making amendments (and many of them are excellent), and what one does in their own home is their business.
Let me say this clearly, I am not a lesbian. I like women, and can appreciate a beautiful, sweet smelling body with curves and soft skin as much as a man can, but I am not interested in them sexually and I have never had any sort of sexual experience with another woman. I like men. I like sex the old fashioned way, and some not so old-fashioned ways too! That said, I firmly believe in the rights of ALL people! It is a sad fact that homosexual people are discriminated against in the work place and at school and everywhere else. Gay is the new black!
I don't care for blatant displays of leather butt chaps and overly aggressive PDAs and all that, either, but I don't have to watch the Pride Parade. I don't care for Larry Flynt or pornography either, but I respect the right of people to have it, if that is what gives them the jollies. You don't have to accept it, approve of it, understand it or anything else - we all just have to live and let live. The guy said something like all gay men wanted to screw little boys and they were all pedophiles.....oy.....While I (and the majority of people with IQs above 34) do not consider NAMBLA as reasonable or even marginally acceptable, I DO accept that people of the same gender CAN love each other and, yes, have sex, as against nature as it may seem! Besides, the statutory rape laws would protect children from predators of either gender, I would expect and hope, making NAMBLA not merely immoral but actually illegal!
He said unfounded things about gays having multiple partners and spreading AIDs! Given my business, I have LOTS of gay friends, and the majority of them are not wanton sluts (at least not any more than my heterosexual ones). There are exceptions on both sides of the fence....MM has slept with dozens of men, by her own calculations....and same with EW (and he is indiscriminate - he probably slept with MM too!) The sad thing is the people I know who have (or had and are now dead) AIDs (gay and straight alike), did not get it because they had MULTIPLE partners. They were ALL in committed relationships. AIDs can take years to develop and, as everyone knows, it can be spread though more than just homosexual contact. I read somewhere that world wide, there are more women with it now than gay men! And our numbers don't even begin to reach the numbers who have it in Africa where it isn't gay men that have it at all...it is straight men, their wifes and millions of children infected at birth or through breast milk!
But I don't want to go off on AIDS - the prejudice against gay marriage, I think, is rooted in the belief that gay people just want sex and they don't have the same ideas about lifelong commitment. But that is just silly. Most of the guys I date seem to just want sex and want nothing to do with a commitment. There are thousands of gay couples who have been in strong committed relationships for years...decades even! I read one Stanford University study that said that fewer than 20% of the registered gay partnerships ended in divorce, compared to closer to 50% for regular marriage! It is a HUGE thing to make a same sex commitment - not as easy as it is for a boy and a girl to just say "let's get hitched!" I mean, the gay couple really has to think about it, and what it means to jump into this can of worms...they have spent a long time in this informal partnership, so the steps to make it formal are not taken lightly or quickly - and one bonus is they never have to get married cuz one of the partners accidentally gets pregnant (which then commonly results in divorce in hetero couples).
It is just an illogical misconception that gay men don't want monogamous relationships - Of course they do - we ALL just want someone to love us forever!! it is the media that has created this idea...all we hear about and see are the leather dudes with big mustaches, and the butt chap, bustier wearing queens!! And those visuals just make many people uncomfortable, although it is NOT what the average gay guy wears to work, or church! My hat is off to shows like Brothers and Sisters that shows how a gay relationship can work and develop in the real world (unlike Grey's Anatomy who just did it to have hot chicks kiss on TV). And why is prostitution such a billion dollar industry?? There are a lot of bored lonely men who want a quickie with a hot chick and then go home to Martha with AIDs, hep C and syphyllis
Now, as to gays having children.....lots of hetero couples use OTHER people's sperm or eggs to make a baby, so what is the problem with a gay person doing it? There is no scientific or unbiased evidence that a child raised in a gay home suffers. The American Academy of Pediatrics' Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health issued a report a couple of years ago that found no differences between children with gay parents and those with heterosexual parents! The study found more similarities than differences in the parenting styles and attitudes of gay and straight fathers, and it showed that lesbian mothers scored the same as hetero moms in "self-esteem, psychologic adjustment and attitudes toward child rearing."
In addition, and perhaps most importantly, the study looked at the kids themselves and found that NONE of the several hundred children studied had "gender identity confusion, wished to be of the other sex or consistently engaged in cross-gender behavior. No differences were found in the toy, game, activity, dress or friendship preferences of boys or girls with gay parents compared with those with heterosexual parents, nor any differences in sexual attraction or self-identification as gay." No differences have been found in personality measures, peer group relationships, self-esteem, behavioral difficulties, academic success and quality of family relationships and the studies suggest only one meaningful difference: Children of gay parents are "more tolerant of diversity and more nurturing toward younger children than children whose parents are heterosexual." And this was only one study!! If there are studies showing the opposite is true, conducted by impartial, scientific minds like the American Academy of Pediatrics or the American Psychological Association, I would certainly read it. There are lots of negative reports, created by anti-gay groups like the Marriage Law Project of Catholic University, which don't really count given their religious prejudice, but if there is something more concrete, send me a link
My basic creed is Live and Let Live. In other words, everyone is entitled to their opinion , no matter how stupid or opposite of my own it may be. Just 'cuz people have different opinions should not be the cause of the world's problems, but as you well know, it usually is. I have plenty of friends, good ones, who have different religious and political views than I, yet we are truly friends. I can have a discussion, debate even, over tough topics, and that ability to exchange is one of the things I find appealing about actually getting dressed and leaving the house. Usually interacting with other people just makes me want to crawl under the covers!
However, a certain amount of openness and flexibility are required when dealing with people...and I suppose I expect too much for people to actually Live and Let Live, like me. To preface this post, I recently saw Keith Olbermann's fabulous commentary on CA's Prop 8 - Here is a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HpTBF6EfxY
So, I met a guy on line...he seemed normal, we had a couple of nice chats on line, seemed to have some things in common and so we decided to meet for coffee - heck he even sprung for my iced coffee! But in the ensuing conversation, he said something that I considered remarkably ignorant, and insensitive, not to mention stupid. I bit my tongue, cuz I try not to discuss these things on a first meeting....but he went on about how horrible it was for gays to marry and adopt children and MORE.....meanwhile, my gay office-mate's partner had just had her anonymous sperm-donor made baby, and my other office mate, was actually in San Francisco tying the knot while it was still legal.
The guy said it wasn't that he was paranoid or homophobic (obviously....); that he simply saw homosexuality as wrong and immoral, based on his beliefs and world view and religious upbringing, and ya know, that is fine. I never would have made him watch the Pride Parade or have a homosexual experience. I personally think onions, cauliflower and decaf coffee are offenses to god and man - sheer unmitigated forces of evil, wrought on man like the boils and locusts of the plague; and I think they should be banned from all restaurants and grocery stores, and that is my opinion and I would hope you remember that if you ever invite me for dinner..... Not quite the same things, of course, but you get my point - he didn't.
Does anyone think, really, that gay people are trying to take anything something away from straight people? Don't all people just want to be treated justly, subjected to the same laws and eligible for the same rights and privileges? It is more than just the right to be recognized by the state such as domestic partnership and civil union, which this fellow proudly stated he supported...but NOT marriage. I don't think this country was founded on anything related to whether a person was gay or not - or married or single or widowed or anything else like that. It was based on freedoms of religion and speech, and all that other stuff that got put into the constitution before we started making amendments (and many of them are excellent), and what one does in their own home is their business.
Let me say this clearly, I am not a lesbian. I like women, and can appreciate a beautiful, sweet smelling body with curves and soft skin as much as a man can, but I am not interested in them sexually and I have never had any sort of sexual experience with another woman. I like men. I like sex the old fashioned way, and some not so old-fashioned ways too! That said, I firmly believe in the rights of ALL people! It is a sad fact that homosexual people are discriminated against in the work place and at school and everywhere else. Gay is the new black!
I don't care for blatant displays of leather butt chaps and overly aggressive PDAs and all that, either, but I don't have to watch the Pride Parade. I don't care for Larry Flynt or pornography either, but I respect the right of people to have it, if that is what gives them the jollies. You don't have to accept it, approve of it, understand it or anything else - we all just have to live and let live. The guy said something like all gay men wanted to screw little boys and they were all pedophiles.....oy.....While I (and the majority of people with IQs above 34) do not consider NAMBLA as reasonable or even marginally acceptable, I DO accept that people of the same gender CAN love each other and, yes, have sex, as against nature as it may seem! Besides, the statutory rape laws would protect children from predators of either gender, I would expect and hope, making NAMBLA not merely immoral but actually illegal!
He said unfounded things about gays having multiple partners and spreading AIDs! Given my business, I have LOTS of gay friends, and the majority of them are not wanton sluts (at least not any more than my heterosexual ones). There are exceptions on both sides of the fence....MM has slept with dozens of men, by her own calculations....and same with EW (and he is indiscriminate - he probably slept with MM too!) The sad thing is the people I know who have (or had and are now dead) AIDs (gay and straight alike), did not get it because they had MULTIPLE partners. They were ALL in committed relationships. AIDs can take years to develop and, as everyone knows, it can be spread though more than just homosexual contact. I read somewhere that world wide, there are more women with it now than gay men! And our numbers don't even begin to reach the numbers who have it in Africa where it isn't gay men that have it at all...it is straight men, their wifes and millions of children infected at birth or through breast milk!
But I don't want to go off on AIDS - the prejudice against gay marriage, I think, is rooted in the belief that gay people just want sex and they don't have the same ideas about lifelong commitment. But that is just silly. Most of the guys I date seem to just want sex and want nothing to do with a commitment. There are thousands of gay couples who have been in strong committed relationships for years...decades even! I read one Stanford University study that said that fewer than 20% of the registered gay partnerships ended in divorce, compared to closer to 50% for regular marriage! It is a HUGE thing to make a same sex commitment - not as easy as it is for a boy and a girl to just say "let's get hitched!" I mean, the gay couple really has to think about it, and what it means to jump into this can of worms...they have spent a long time in this informal partnership, so the steps to make it formal are not taken lightly or quickly - and one bonus is they never have to get married cuz one of the partners accidentally gets pregnant (which then commonly results in divorce in hetero couples).
It is just an illogical misconception that gay men don't want monogamous relationships - Of course they do - we ALL just want someone to love us forever!! it is the media that has created this idea...all we hear about and see are the leather dudes with big mustaches, and the butt chap, bustier wearing queens!! And those visuals just make many people uncomfortable, although it is NOT what the average gay guy wears to work, or church! My hat is off to shows like Brothers and Sisters that shows how a gay relationship can work and develop in the real world (unlike Grey's Anatomy who just did it to have hot chicks kiss on TV). And why is prostitution such a billion dollar industry?? There are a lot of bored lonely men who want a quickie with a hot chick and then go home to Martha with AIDs, hep C and syphyllis
Now, as to gays having children.....lots of hetero couples use OTHER people's sperm or eggs to make a baby, so what is the problem with a gay person doing it? There is no scientific or unbiased evidence that a child raised in a gay home suffers. The American Academy of Pediatrics' Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health issued a report a couple of years ago that found no differences between children with gay parents and those with heterosexual parents! The study found more similarities than differences in the parenting styles and attitudes of gay and straight fathers, and it showed that lesbian mothers scored the same as hetero moms in "self-esteem, psychologic adjustment and attitudes toward child rearing."
In addition, and perhaps most importantly, the study looked at the kids themselves and found that NONE of the several hundred children studied had "gender identity confusion, wished to be of the other sex or consistently engaged in cross-gender behavior. No differences were found in the toy, game, activity, dress or friendship preferences of boys or girls with gay parents compared with those with heterosexual parents, nor any differences in sexual attraction or self-identification as gay." No differences have been found in personality measures, peer group relationships, self-esteem, behavioral difficulties, academic success and quality of family relationships and the studies suggest only one meaningful difference: Children of gay parents are "more tolerant of diversity and more nurturing toward younger children than children whose parents are heterosexual." And this was only one study!! If there are studies showing the opposite is true, conducted by impartial, scientific minds like the American Academy of Pediatrics or the American Psychological Association, I would certainly read it. There are lots of negative reports, created by anti-gay groups like the Marriage Law Project of Catholic University, which don't really count given their religious prejudice, but if there is something more concrete, send me a link
If you are still reading, sorry for the long rant...but I am glad you are still here. I would never call myself a "Christian," as I think that word has taken on the same "ick" label that has been affixed to "liberal." However, I have read the teachings of Jesus and think, for the most part, what he wanted from his fellow man was compassion. I simply don't expect for my spiritual and moral values and beliefs to extend to anyone except my own self. I respect anyone who has strong religious beliefs that help them get through this maze of life, and I am sure a dose of faith would have helped me get through some of the hard times in my life, but I think it is ridiculus for me to think others HAVE to think MY way or my religion's way, or they are wrong. I have been told by family members that I am not going to heaven since I have not accepted Jesus Christ as my personal saviour.....and I have told them that the heaven I am going to will be one where all of my friends and loved ones will be welcome - including the gay, jew and muslim ones!!
So, I basically told the guy all of this...and I never heard from him again, and that is just fine with me......I really don't want to "change " anyone's mind about anything - i just want someone who is open to all the infinite possibilities in the world and not be closed off somehow, you know?? If change happens, fine, and if not, it all boils down to my original premise of Live and Let Live.
So, I basically told the guy all of this...and I never heard from him again, and that is just fine with me......I really don't want to "change " anyone's mind about anything - i just want someone who is open to all the infinite possibilities in the world and not be closed off somehow, you know?? If change happens, fine, and if not, it all boils down to my original premise of Live and Let Live.
02 December 2008
Giving Thanks
Holidays are always a bitter sweet thing when you are around me. I love ya to death, dammit, but go away you drive me friggin' nuts, ya know what I mean? Last year, I spent 50K in frequent flyer points so I could fly on the days and times I wanted. The flight out was crowded and stinky, and the flight back was late...so late in fact, that I had to over night in Houston - fortunately not only do I have family there, but my best friend lives 15 minutes from the airport and she drove out to get me (Continental was not putting me and the other stranded passengers up!). So, this year, i vowed to get my ticket cheaper and earlier so I wouldn't have to worry about it. Back in April I booked a 25K award on Northwest, for a Saturday to Saturday trip, good travel days for me and the crowds are less...the only problem was I booked it for the week BEFORE thanksgiving...and didn't realize it the 14th when United sent me a YOU MAY CHECK IN NOW email. WTF? I thought, and then ding, I realized what I did....So...I had to spend another 50K points for a NEW ticket on United, plus a $75 late fee, PLUS $50 to redeposit my NW frequent flyer miles....sign..ok...no big deal...it is for family. And here they are...
So, here is my mom with my sister's kids:
my brother's 15 month
old:
my 15 year old niece...DRIVING!! DON'T LOOK AT THE CAMERA - Keep your eyes on the road!!:
My brother and his baby girl:
Where all babies belong until they are 21!
My nephew is HOT, on FIRE, so to speak:
His sisters are also pretty cool kids:
The whole time we were in Evansville, my sister in law never had to change a diaper or hold a cranky baby...so she turned to her first child, Zeus...he is an awesome little boy and no mother could hope for a better son...
So, here is my mom with my sister's kids:
my brother's 15 month
old:my 15 year old niece...DRIVING!! DON'T LOOK AT THE CAMERA - Keep your eyes on the road!!:
My brother and his baby girl:
Where all babies belong until they are 21!
My nephew is HOT, on FIRE, so to speak:
His sisters are also pretty cool kids:
The whole time we were in Evansville, my sister in law never had to change a diaper or hold a cranky baby...so she turned to her first child, Zeus...he is an awesome little boy and no mother could hope for a better son...
I solved the rubiks cube!!
With a little help from a You Tube video, I got it all back to perfect! I am so proud of myself for following the convoluted instructions. I feel like I have added some necessary flexibility and agility to my brain....hope that makes up for the fact I stayed up WAAAYYY too late to do it!!
01 December 2008
I'm a Virgo
Don't laugh but I called into the radio station today when the psychic was on....I have had my star chart done before by a friend, but I was curious to see what a complete stranger would come up with, so I called in with my birthday and time and place....and MAN, she KNEW me - it was frightening - she had several insightful comments that I suppose could apply to anyone, but the main thing she said that struck me was that even though I was a Cancer in my sun sign, I was a Virgo in my moon sign (I knew that from my other star chart reading), and that I had four planets in Virgo which made me even more of a Virgo (which I didn't know). Everyone knows their sun sign, but the moon sign exerts more influence on our personality and future than the sun sign! In fact, one's moon sign tells about instincts and inner self and reveals the personality of an individual because it represents unconscious behavior. The moon sign influences emotions and love life and relationships. The moon sign doesn't override the sun sign, but it modifies the effects of the sun sign.
So, without me telling her ANYTHING, she said I was very well organized, liked order and logic, and that I was an excellent communicator (yes she did!!), but that my Cancer gave me some emotional side effects that probably interfered with my logical organized side which is what could possibly cause me major strife - how on target is that??? I then told her I had so much "crap" in my life that I was trying to get rid of, but that I hung on to things for their sentimental value and no other reason. I met a guy in NYC last Feb. who had his apt. burned down - he lost everything but the lap top he had with him....and he was FINE - felt great - and then this psychic tells me tonight about some women she knew who lost her apartment to a fire...and she was so free and light - her life totally changed...
I am always one to seek light - lightness, ease, calm.....maybe I just need a literal light...strike a match and set this baby on fire?
So, without me telling her ANYTHING, she said I was very well organized, liked order and logic, and that I was an excellent communicator (yes she did!!), but that my Cancer gave me some emotional side effects that probably interfered with my logical organized side which is what could possibly cause me major strife - how on target is that??? I then told her I had so much "crap" in my life that I was trying to get rid of, but that I hung on to things for their sentimental value and no other reason. I met a guy in NYC last Feb. who had his apt. burned down - he lost everything but the lap top he had with him....and he was FINE - felt great - and then this psychic tells me tonight about some women she knew who lost her apartment to a fire...and she was so free and light - her life totally changed...
I am always one to seek light - lightness, ease, calm.....maybe I just need a literal light...strike a match and set this baby on fire?
21 November 2008
The Husband Store (thanks Jim for pointing out the typo!)
The Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
*You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
* There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
*The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the Sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
*You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
* There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
*The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the Sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
19 November 2008
dogs
You know, I am as much a dog lover as the next person so when I say I want to KILL the dog who lives next door, you realize I mean the person who owns the dog, not the dog itself. The person who goes to work at 5am and locks the dog in the bedroom. The bedroom with an adjoining wall to MY bedroom. It is 5:15 am...third morning in a row that I have been awoken up by a crying, barking, whining DOG. I worked until about 130 last night, and about that late the night before. I have had to go sleep in my living room!!! I have complained to the office, I have complained to the night serrive, i have called the police , I have called the humane sociery (all they will do is send a letter). I am going to my sister's on Thursday and her kids are loud little twerps so you KNOW I won't get any sleep there, right. I am REALLY REALLY TIRED!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
18 November 2008
People in Coffee Shops
So there I was...sitting in Starbucks. I scored the comfy chair and was just hanging out, drinking my over priced coffee, reading the NY Times, as I do nearly every Ssunday afternoon....and this guy sits at the table next to me. That's fine, its a free country for the most part, he can sit wherever he wants. i move my papers off the communal table to give him some room, I smile, but I am not flirting or anything. He takes out his laptop and starts typing furiously. A few minutes later someone comes up and asks if an empty chair next to me can be taken, and I say, "my imaginary friend is sitting there. " Ha ha's all around, the chair goes, and the guy makes a cute comment about "his" invisible friends...yuk yuk yuk. I continue to mind my own business and read my paper. At some point, I look up and glance his direction - not AT him - but out the window, which he is sitting next to, and he TURNS his computer screen away! He looks at me and asks, "can you see what I am typing?" - I tell him no, and thinking he was joking, I kinda lean in a little as if I was gonna try. He TURNS his computer completely away from me again (as IF you can see an LCD screen from any angle other than full on), and I joke," well hey, now I WANNA see what you are doing." He looks at me coldly and says in a mean voice - "it is none of your business"
I was totally joking! I could give a dead rat's ass what he was doing, or what porn site he was reading. I was so shocked at his utter lack of a sense of humor and his suspicious attitude toward me! No one has been bluntly MEAN to my face in a long time (usually they do it on line where they can't see my face). i couldn't think of anything smart to say at the time, but i did in the car later....why would he think I would give a crap about what he was doing? I was just sitting there MINDING my own business, even if I COULD see his screen, I wouldn't have even thought to LOOK!! I sat there a few minutes trying to focus on the newspaper, but my eyes were swimming...so I picked up my stuff and left...
so, yes, I took that personally, whether I should have or not - why he was so mean!! I was not flirting with him or anything - sometimes guys are mean when they think a woman is flirting....whereas I tend to be nicer to someone who is flirting with me and whom I am not interested in, cuz I simply can't stand hurting anyone's feelings (and I am in such shock that they are being nice to me in the first place), not that guys flirt with me much....in fact, i don't think i can remember the last time I was even smiled at by a guy....thank god for my fantasy life, i tell ya...i'd feel pretty alone otherwise. Pity my own coffee maker doesn't make coffee like Starbucks, then I wouldn't need to go there for anything!!
I was totally joking! I could give a dead rat's ass what he was doing, or what porn site he was reading. I was so shocked at his utter lack of a sense of humor and his suspicious attitude toward me! No one has been bluntly MEAN to my face in a long time (usually they do it on line where they can't see my face). i couldn't think of anything smart to say at the time, but i did in the car later....why would he think I would give a crap about what he was doing? I was just sitting there MINDING my own business, even if I COULD see his screen, I wouldn't have even thought to LOOK!! I sat there a few minutes trying to focus on the newspaper, but my eyes were swimming...so I picked up my stuff and left...
so, yes, I took that personally, whether I should have or not - why he was so mean!! I was not flirting with him or anything - sometimes guys are mean when they think a woman is flirting....whereas I tend to be nicer to someone who is flirting with me and whom I am not interested in, cuz I simply can't stand hurting anyone's feelings (and I am in such shock that they are being nice to me in the first place), not that guys flirt with me much....in fact, i don't think i can remember the last time I was even smiled at by a guy....thank god for my fantasy life, i tell ya...i'd feel pretty alone otherwise. Pity my own coffee maker doesn't make coffee like Starbucks, then I wouldn't need to go there for anything!!
17 November 2008
MARK
Laurie asked who was Gary in my last post, and as I was typing a quick reply I realized how hilarious it was, so I thought I would share it here with my 4 loyal readers :-)
So, the Gary of which I speak hung out with a gang of boys who rode my bus to school, including one named Mark. I actually took Gary to Sadie Hawkins Dance in 11th grade. He kissed me good night, and I can still feel that kiss!!
Mark - gross - never even thought about him in junior high or high school - I was friends with his little sister. He and that pack of monsters would sit in the back of the bus and torment me when I got on. One year, my hair had turned really blonde over the summer from swimming, and they asked me if I had dyed my hair. Another time, they laughed at my satin jacket (which I LOVED) and asked if I had stolen it from Sean Cassidy (of course not - it was PINK), and another time, trend setter that I was, I wore my favorite ratty, worn out, holey, 501 jeans and one of them asked me if I was working in a gas station. Stuff like that - made me HATE riding the bus and man was I glad when my dad got me a car!!
But time changes all things, doesn't it? Fast forward to the Summer of 1984, right before my senior year at UCSB. My parents had moved to Florida and I didn't want to go there for the summer, so Cece and I were living in an apartment in Denver. We went out to Thirsty's (a disco) alot, and one night my sister came with us and as we were walking around, I noticed this skinny dork leaning into my little sister - it was a guy I knew from high school and I walk up and say, "stop hitting on my sister." He looks at me and we all laugh, and then this Tall GORGEOUS guy walks up and starts talking to us. I have no idea who it is, but we dance, and he is totally flirting with me and I am like wah hoooo. His name was Mark but I never made the connection. He finally says his last name, and I am flabbergasted....he grew more than a foot and really thinned out.....WOW...so we danced and talked the rest of the night - we even made out a bit...that's what 3.2 beer will do to a college girl. (Actually I was 21 at that point, but we still liked going to the 3.2 bars).
As it was getting close to closing time, I asked him why he was always so mean to me in high school- and he said, "didn't I know he had a mad crush on me all that time." NO! I had no idea and it is a good thing I didn't! Knowing me i would have thrown up on him or something.
At the 10 year reunion (at which I looked absolutely incredible, if I do say so myself), he barely said hello to me. I googled him and I think I found him...in 2006 he was selling tires in Denver.....
2011 update: I found out that Mark died of a brain aneurysm. His friends said it was probably brought on by alcohol. What is really sad is that Gary died too, several years ago, and also as a result of drugs. Really sad that the TWO guys I ever kissed from high school both died really young...
So, the Gary of which I speak hung out with a gang of boys who rode my bus to school, including one named Mark. I actually took Gary to Sadie Hawkins Dance in 11th grade. He kissed me good night, and I can still feel that kiss!!
Mark - gross - never even thought about him in junior high or high school - I was friends with his little sister. He and that pack of monsters would sit in the back of the bus and torment me when I got on. One year, my hair had turned really blonde over the summer from swimming, and they asked me if I had dyed my hair. Another time, they laughed at my satin jacket (which I LOVED) and asked if I had stolen it from Sean Cassidy (of course not - it was PINK), and another time, trend setter that I was, I wore my favorite ratty, worn out, holey, 501 jeans and one of them asked me if I was working in a gas station. Stuff like that - made me HATE riding the bus and man was I glad when my dad got me a car!!
But time changes all things, doesn't it? Fast forward to the Summer of 1984, right before my senior year at UCSB. My parents had moved to Florida and I didn't want to go there for the summer, so Cece and I were living in an apartment in Denver. We went out to Thirsty's (a disco) alot, and one night my sister came with us and as we were walking around, I noticed this skinny dork leaning into my little sister - it was a guy I knew from high school and I walk up and say, "stop hitting on my sister." He looks at me and we all laugh, and then this Tall GORGEOUS guy walks up and starts talking to us. I have no idea who it is, but we dance, and he is totally flirting with me and I am like wah hoooo. His name was Mark but I never made the connection. He finally says his last name, and I am flabbergasted....he grew more than a foot and really thinned out.....WOW...so we danced and talked the rest of the night - we even made out a bit...that's what 3.2 beer will do to a college girl. (Actually I was 21 at that point, but we still liked going to the 3.2 bars).
As it was getting close to closing time, I asked him why he was always so mean to me in high school- and he said, "didn't I know he had a mad crush on me all that time." NO! I had no idea and it is a good thing I didn't! Knowing me i would have thrown up on him or something.
At the 10 year reunion (at which I looked absolutely incredible, if I do say so myself), he barely said hello to me. I googled him and I think I found him...in 2006 he was selling tires in Denver.....
2011 update: I found out that Mark died of a brain aneurysm. His friends said it was probably brought on by alcohol. What is really sad is that Gary died too, several years ago, and also as a result of drugs. Really sad that the TWO guys I ever kissed from high school both died really young...
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