Change is good

Perhaps one of the reasons I feel so unsettled in my life right now is cuz of the very nature of the life I am leading, or rather which is leading me! Not only am I physically moving to a new place, after being here for 7 years (which is a record for me - longest time in one home OR in one city!), but I am changing my relationship status from single, to single with a potential friend, but I am not quite sure about him yet, or if he is going to get the benefits...and my job is supposed to be on "hiatus" for the next month, (meaning NO paycheck), but I still have 2 unfinished reports and a hotel contract to negotiate...Plus my nephew is graduating from high school this weekend. My mom and my brother and his wife and their daughter are up there with the Sometimes Wicked Witch of Michigan (SWWM) and there is a big party tomorrow night, I ought to be there, but I have this truck coming tomorrow, see, and a plane ticket to use next Friday, and the internet won't be hooked up at the new place til Wednesday, and I would really rather it be sterile clean when I move in all my stuff, but it probably won't be, and I am a bit of a control freak and a germophobe, and then I went to the dentist yesterday and will probably need a crown sooner than later, and the price for those suckers has doubled in the last 6 years since my last one, and I still need to pay for my rental car in Hawaii, and find a place to spend my birthday on Oahu, and should I bother to clean my apartment when I move out, or just leave it - I mean, I didn't have to pay a security deposit, but I hate the idea of them coming in and seeing the dust I left behind. I live in a very dusty place. Maybe I ought to get a HEPA filter - might wake up without sneezing 40 times each morning...oh shoot, and I still need to get a ticket to NYC for August, for a conference, but my boss said he was getting rid of his couch, which is where I sleep, so NOW what do I do????? And I need a new camera before I leave in 6 days, and I need to send my niece something for her 16th birthday and of course something to the graduating nephew

breathe in....exhale......

I will miss this apartment, really. There have been some great managers and great neighbors, and some horrible managers and horrible neighbors...I definitely won't miss being woken up by the 4 year old next door EVERY friggin' day when he leaves with his dad to go to school at 6 frigging 30 in the morning! Being upstairs is awesome - i get some breeze, I can leave the windows and patio door open at night when it's nice, no one can see in when they walk by...Now I will be on the ground floor, and while I will have bars on the windows, I won't be able to leave them open like I do now....critters can get in, like scorpions and tarantulas and bobcats and other multi legged things.

Change is good, I have been known to say on a pretty regular basis. I agree that change is good, and often necessary, but this upheaval in my life doesn't feel like mere change, it is an avalanche of paper and a physical earthquake and a tsunami of tears, an emotional recession, a mental and a financial meltdown.

As they say, this too will pass...and that which does not kill you makes you stronger.....sigh...anyone wanna arm wrassle??

breathe in...................................................................... and exhale....don't forget that last part....