thanks

wow - thanks for the outpouring of support from everyone...It was very good for me to read all of YOUR blogs and tributes and see the pictures (thank you King). For the first time I forced myself to look at pictures of that day, and while I did it with tears pouring down my face, until I was waist deep in salt water, it felt good to get it OUT and to see the whole thing, like the rest of the world saw it...2 dimensional pictures, that while gut wrenching and heart breaking, were still simply frozen snatches of time. Watching the videos was a little harder....but I am glad they are there, and I hope they stay there, and they aren't ever hidden away like pornography. Kids need to see this....

So, I also felt the self-indulgent urge to send the essay to my friends and family - none of who read this blog (at least I hope not), and got a mix of reactions from them..mostly loving and supportive - many had no idea what I had been feeling, and I guess it explained alot to them about my behavior these last few years...

My mama called and said I was getting to be as verbose as my father. I am not sure if that is a good thing or not, but I think he is a helluva writer...just hope I am not as IN YOUR FACE FUCKA as he can be...(daddy, are you still reading this??)

It felt SO good to get that all out. I NEEDED it, and thanks to those who read it, and MORE thanks to those who thought it was crap and withheld the urge to tell me so....